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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607811">Antidote</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodluckgettingtosleep/pseuds/goodluckgettingtosleep'>goodluckgettingtosleep</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(not between D &amp; H though), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angry Kissing, Angry Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boyband, Drunkenness, Ex-Bandmates, Exes, Famous Draco Malfoy, Famous Harry Potter, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Smut, Music, Musicians, Past Infidelity, Tattoos, Texting, Twitter, scandals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:41:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>36,962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27607811</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodluckgettingtosleep/pseuds/goodluckgettingtosleep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco are ex-bandmates, formerly the two most popular members of the world's most successful boyband of their time, Diagon Alley. What nobody knows? They are also ex-lovers, who haven't seen each other in 3 years, ever since Draco left the band. Unknowingly, they've been invited to the same event, where they inevitably run into each other and both realise that they're far from over that thing they had. Turns out that you can only run for so long until you run out of breath and that every secret has a habit of coming out eventually.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Renaissance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm starting this off by saying that this is probably the most self-indulgent thing I have ever written. So anything that seems a bit over-the-top was meant to be that way, trust me. I had a lot of fun writing this. It's kinda loosely inspired by One Direction, which is also why Harry Styles makes an appearance, and you can probably guess who would be whom if you know anything about 1D BUT that being said, the characters aren't based on anyone. This is all fiction and Harry Potter is Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy is Draco Malfoy. I tried to fit their characters into this completely different AU setting as best as I could and I think it worked quite well. </p><p>Also, if you're German, you're welcome for the coldmirror reference. I told you this was pretty self-indulgent.</p><p>It is finished, complete in 3 chapters, and I will post them over the next 3 days. </p><p>Biggest thank you to my friend Tay for being my beta again.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Ex-Diagon Alley members Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy: Reunion under the Mediterranean Sun? </b>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry Potter was spotted in Sicily, Italy this afternoon, alongside his manager Sirius Black, Moonlight Talks host Remus Lupin, and his mother, Lily Evans. But that is not the only good company he will be expected to be in this weekend. The former Diagon Alley member was invited to Sicily by internet giant Google for their yearly Google Camp. Other guests include singer Celestina Warbeck, none other than oldie rapper Fresh Dumbledore, Lady Gonagall, and newcomer Harry Styles, whose debut album just topped the charts a couple of months ago, competing heavily with Potter’s first solo album.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fans of Diagon Alley should be most interested, however, that Potter’s former bandmate Draco Malfoy is also expected to make an appearance at the camp.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The pair had formerly made headlines with their less-than-friendly commentary about each other after the band broke up in 2018. Draco explained only last year that he and Harry had never actually been friends while they were in Diagon Alley together. As a result, fans have taken to posting compilations of video clips online that supposedly prove otherwise. While they had started out antagonising each other in a very pubescent way on the casting show Defense Against Bad Music back in 2012, they had become good friends in the public eye after being put in Diagon Alley together, along with bandmates Neville Longbottom, Cedric Diggory, and Dean Thomas.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry had been less explicit about any bad blood between them, even wishing Draco all the best in an interview with the Prophet, but had complained about the inconveniences Draco’s premature departure from the band in 2017 had left them with.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It is impossible to tell what exactly caused the rift between the ex-bandmates. It is safe to say, however, that a potential reunion between the two already sent their fan base into a frenzy on Twitter this afternoon.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p>Sicily was hot and sunny at this time of the year, almost a little too hot and a little too sticky, if it wasn’t for fancy hotel rooms and restaurants with sufficient air cons, private pools, and cool drinks. But much more than that, it was just simply breathtakingly beautiful, the nature and the culture of the place feeding Harry’s senses, making him feel alive and bubbling with inspiration. It was a good place to be; and Harry appreciated the privilege of being able to cool off whenever he needed to. He knew, of course, that not everyone was equally lucky dealing with the heat, especially considering the fact that air cons were still a rarity in Europe, even though global warming made European summers hotter and hotter every year. Harry had grown up with no air cons available at all, and now he wouldn’t want to miss them. He was lost in his own thoughts pondering about air cons of all things, while basking in the cool breeze they spread through the hotel bar he was currently sitting at, sipping a colourful drink - so much for Sicily making him feel inspired and intellectual - when a voice next to him cut right through the comfortable silence he had surrounded himself with and straight into his heart, making it bleed warmth down to his stomach that suddenly felt like it was twisted into a knot. His chest hurt from the painful stabbing, constricting him and making it hard to breathe. He would recognise that voice anywhere, but he didn’t dare to look up. </p><p>“Scotch, please,” the posh voice told the bartender, “on the rocks. Thanks.” </p><p>It took a few more seconds before Harry heard a soft, surprised, and maybe slightly horrified, gasp. Draco had finally noticed him. </p><p>Harry waited for him to make a sound; clear his throat, say his name maybe, while he kept his eyes fixed on his drink as if the bright blue cocktail was the most interesting thing he had ever laid eyes on. But the voice never came. Instead, Draco grabbed his drink and started walking off again, and Harry suddenly felt blind hot rage rushing through him. It was burning him up inside while his veins felt frozen, like Draco’s coldness had started spreading, freezing Harry to keep him in place. But Harry wouldn’t have it. They’d been close friends for five years, at least that; they hadn’t talked in three, hadn’t even seen each other. It felt wrong to act like they had never known each other at all now, even after everything had gone to shit between them. </p><p>“Vodka. Just a shot, please,” Harry told the bartender in a low voice, motioning him to hurry. He emptied the glass in one go, the alcohol sharply warming him from the inside and melting away the ice Draco had left behind. Harry squeezed his eyes shut, counted to three in his head, then stood up and faced the direction Draco had gone in, catching his back on his way out of the room. </p><p>“Draco,” he said, voice firm and just loud enough for Draco to hear. And sure enough, Draco froze on the spot. He took a moment, and then another one, straightening his shoulders and emptying his drink in one gulp, setting the glass on an empty table nearby, before finally turning around, wearing his brightest camera smile. </p><p>“Potter,” he said cheerfully, and Harry swallowed the urge to gag. The indifference, the fake smile, that was something Harry had never seen Draco direct at him before, and it hurt to realise that he had lost his privilege to see and hear the real Draco. Even when they hadn’t gotten along on Defense Against Bad Music at first, Draco had never regarded him with fake-friendliness. He’d always shown Harry his true emotions, the initial dislike just as much as his love later on. </p><p>“Hadn’t seen you there,” Draco lied, and Harry rolled his eyes. </p><p>“Come on, Dray. We both know you have. You just chose to ignore me,” Harry said calmly, his voice betraying his disappointment, “Again.”</p><p>There was a flicker of something Harry couldn’t quite place in Draco’s eyes, and it was gone before he had a chance to inspect it any further. Draco’s jaw set in a firm line and his beautiful grey eyes narrowed slightly. Despite his sour expression, he still looked amazing. His hair was dyed pastel lilac, he had loads of new, unfamiliar tattoos, one of them gracing the side of his neck, and his light stubble accentuated his cheekbones perfectly. Everything about him was a little different to when Harry had last seen him, even the expression in his eyes. He no longer looked at Harry like he had hung all the stars in the sky. They were the same grey they had been when Harry had first made contact with them, but they had lost some of their glow. Harry couldn’t help thinking that it was his fault, at least partly. </p><p>Draco let out a cool laugh, eyes fixed on Harry’s. </p><p>“Surely you’re joking, Potter.” </p><p>Harry nearly found himself breaking under Draco’s intense glare, but he refused to budge. </p><p>“I texted y—,” he started, but Draco snorted, sharply interrupting him.</p><p>“I called and texted you hundreds of times after I left, to no avail. I’m sorry I just couldn’t be bothered with you anymore after <em> you </em> ignored <em> me </em> for an entire year<em>. 'I really miss your name popping up on my phone screen.’ </em> Right. You really got some nerve, Potter. <em> ” </em></p><p>Harry’s head snapped up, eyes wide. </p><p>“You listened to my album?” </p><p>Draco shook his head. “And of course that’s the only thing you took away from everything I said. Self-absorbed as ever, aren’t we, Harry Potter?” he sneered. </p><p>This wasn’t going the way Harry had hoped at all. He felt like a child all of a sudden, scolded for something he shouldn’t be scolded for. </p><p>“You broke my heart, Dray,” Harry said quietly, avoiding Draco’s gaze. There was a pause, and when Harry finally dared to look up, Draco’s expression had softened. He looked almost sad now. </p><p>“Well, too bad, H. Because you broke mine, too,” he told him quietly, just so holding eye contact, head tilted downwards. </p><p>There was something about the tone of his voice, and the soft use of the nickname, that made tears spring to Harry’s eyes, and underneath all the anger and hurt feelings, all the pain and resentment, he suddenly found just how much he’d missed his former bandmate. </p><p>“Fuck!” Harry ran a hand down his face and rubbed over the lightning shaped scar on his forehead before looking back up, steadily gazing into Draco’s grey eyes, searching for something he couldn’t even name. </p><p>And before he knew what was happening, Draco’s arms were suddenly wrapped around his waist, and Harry’s arms were wrapped around Draco’s shoulders and he didn’t even know who had moved first. But they were holding onto each other for dear life, their embrace so tight that it would have been hard to fit a sheet of paper between them. </p><p>Harry felt Draco biting his shoulder ever so slightly, something he had always done when his own emotions overwhelmed him so much that he didn’t know what to do with them. It had been weird the first time Draco had done it early into their career, after they had gotten over their school boy rivalry by putting their emotions to better use with each other, but Harry had quickly learned that it was just one of the things Draco did, and eventually, he had fallen in love with the weird habit, much like he had fallen in love with all the rest of him. Sighing, Harry nuzzled his face into Draco’s neck and took a deep breath, realizing with a painful stab to his heart that Draco was still wearing the same cologne he had worn when they had hugged for the last time, when Harry had taken off Draco’s clothes piece by piece in a dark hotel room, kissing every inch of him, one last time before Draco had left the band, and him in the process. They had fought before, terribly so, and Harry had been about to slam the door and leave, but then he had taken a deep, exhausted breath and realised that he couldn’t leave them like this. So he had stepped into Draco’s space, easing the tension in his shoulders with a gentle hand, softly kissing his cheek and whispering: “If you let me, I’m gonna love you goodbye, Dray.” </p><p>It had been gentle and loving; an outpour of all the love and affection they had still felt for each other. But once it had been over, Harry had felt all the hurt and anger wash back over him, and he had left Draco’s room, finally slamming that door and never turning back around. Draco had left without a word the next morning, and Harry had spent a whole week crying into his pillow every night. Draco had tried to reach out to him multiple times in the following weeks but Harry had been too hurt to answer any of his attempts. He had been heartbroken; more than that, for a while he had just felt a dark hole where his heart used to be. It wasn’t until much much later that Harry had seen his own mistakes, had started regretting the way they had ended things, and had started his own attempts at reaching out. Only at that point Draco had been the one who hadn’t cared to answer anymore. Harry couldn’t really blame him, but he had, he still did. </p><p>He held onto Draco now, grabbing the fabric of his white Queen shirt into his fists when he felt the first sob escape him, startling himself. </p><p>Harry loosened his grip and quickly stepped back, furiously wiping tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand. He met Draco’s eyes, finding them glistening with tears of his own, and he let out a bitter, broken laugh. </p><p>“This is so fucked up. Shit, Dray. We’re so fucked up.” </p><p>Draco shook his head, eyes back to looking cold and narrowed. </p><p>“Speak for yourself. I was perfectly fine until you decided to come after me. You could’ve just let me go, but no. No, you just had to start this drama now, didn’t you? Always the one for the unnecessary dramatics, weren’t you?” </p><p>Harry closed his eyes for a moment, counting to three in his head to calm himself down. Getting angry now wouldn’t do either of them any good. </p><p>“Were you, then? Fine?” he asked, exhausted but fully willing to see this through now. </p><p>“Absolutely.”</p><p>“Happy with your girlfriend?” </p><p>Harry definitely saw him flinch now, his eyes shadowing for a moment. </p><p>“Very.” </p><p>Harry sighed. </p><p>“Come on, Draco. You really think that’s gonna work with me? I know you better than this.”</p><p>Draco crossed his arms in front of his chest, jaw set. “You don’t know shit about me, Potter, not anymore.” </p><p>“Maybe I don’t know much about the person you have become in the last three years, but I do know <em> you </em>. And you have always carried your heart on your sleeve, for better or worse,” Harry said calmly. Draco kept glaring at him, silently now, like he didn’t have any arguments left, like he had to reluctantly admit that Harry was right. </p><p>“Why did you hug me?” Harry asked, tone void of anything that could be considered anger or even confusion.</p><p>Draco shook his head and looked like he desperately wanted to leave, but Harry wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t. </p><p>“Why did you hug me?” Draco echoed. Harry sighed, steadily holding Draco’s gaze. </p><p>“Because. I missed you, Dray. I <em> miss </em> you. And all of this shit between us… it’s just fucked up. All of it. It wasn’t like—” Harry cut himself off. It was too much. Too big of an admission after their short conversation, and 3 years delayed. </p><p>“What?” Draco asked, eyes guarded. </p><p>Harry sighed again, scratching the back of his head as he was desperately searching for the right words. </p><p>“I was mad that you left. I was heartbroken. I thought you were leaving <em> me </em> as well as the band and I was mad at myself for not seeing it coming. You always had Pansy, or who knows whom, and I was never your first. It hurt, Draco, it hurt a lot, but I always took what I could from you. With you leaving, I thought you took that from me, but you didn’t, did you? I was mad at you, but I didn’t suddenly stop loving you.” </p><p>Draco crossed his arms in front of his chest and suddenly looked like he carried all the sadness in the world on his face. Sadness, regret, longing, sorrow, wistfulness. Maybe a bit of pity as well. </p><p>“What is this, Harry?” he asked with a sigh. “What are you doing, what’s the point of this?” He gestured back and forth between them, and Harry felt heavy all of a sudden, the burden of his own admission pressing down onto his shoulders. If only he knew how to keep his mouth shut around Draco. He was so good at being closed off towards everyone else, but as soon as Draco appeared in his peripheral vision, he was a goner, all self-control flying right out of the window. A memory of him going down on Draco in a dirty bathroom stall backstage after a show flashed in his mind, and Harry quickly shook it off. Case in point. </p><p>“I just— I just want to try and fix it, call a truce maybe. Give us both some peace of mind,” Harry told him, smiling sadly. “So we can be friends again someday.”</p><p>Draco snorted, then shook his head. </p><p>“We can never be platonic friends, Potter, and you know it. We never could. We fight, or we make out with each other, it’s always been like that.” </p><p>Something fluttered in Harry’s chest, quickly spreading down to his stomach. Perhaps Draco was right. </p><p>“But…,” he started, not sure what to say, “When we weren’t fighting, we also got along really well. So… We could try?” </p><p>Draco gave him a sad smile. </p><p>“It’s too late, Harry.” </p><p>And then he turned around and walked away, leaving Harry feeling the echo of the hole where his heart used to be. </p><p> </p><p> +++ </p><p> </p><p>Naturally, Sirius and his Mum noticed right away that something was off when Harry flopped down into one of the rattan seats at their small table near the pool with a glass of straight vodka in his hand. He hated that stuff but he felt like it was exactly what he needed and deserved right now. He’d hoped the sunglasses perched on his nose would at least hide his gloomy expression but Sirius and Lily both just knew him too well. He had been foolish to believe he could fool them. </p><p>“Harry, honey, are you alright?” his Mum asked without a minute to spare, worriedly eyeing the vodka he’d just taken a sip from, trying not to shudder at the burning taste. It was quite awful, he wasn’t going to lie. </p><p>Sirius glanced at him over the frames of his sunglasses, frowning. </p><p>“Is that straight vodka?” </p><p>Harry snorted, suddenly missing being on tour, far away from people with gorgeous grey eyes and names that start with a D that Harry was completely and utterly fucked for, even after so many years. </p><p>“No, gay,” he deadpanned, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. Very gay, considering the reason why he was drinking it in the first place. </p><p>But that only made Sirius’s frown deepen, and Harry sighed. </p><p>“I’m fine, Mum,” he said, turning towards Lily, who had reached out to squeeze his forearm. Her worried gaze stayed fixed on him.</p><p>“You don’t look fine, honey. What’s wrong?”</p><p>Sirius sat up in his chair now, leaning over the table to inspect him closer. </p><p>“And more importantly, you don’t drink straight vodka,” he added, his eyes so intense he looked like he was trying to read right through him. </p><p>“<em>Gay </em> vodka <em> , </em> I told you <em> ,” </em> Harry said jokingly, then added in a more serious tone that he didn’t really intend on using, but he <em> was </em> feeling like his barely healed heart had just been broken all over again, “Very gay vodka.” </p><p>Not that either of them would get his joke. Even if they knew Draco was here, none of them knew what had actually happened between them. Nobody knew what they had been to each other. Well, nobody except England’s favourite football player Oliver Wood, who had walked in on them kissing pressed against a sink in a restroom at the BBC one fateful day in late 2014. He hadn’t told anyone, Oliver would never, but from that day on Oliver had been his only confidant on the matter, and it had felt more like a relief than anything else. </p><p>“Harry,” Sirius and Lily said at the same time, unwavering worry evident in their voices. There was just no fooling these people for him.</p><p>Harry sighed, then narrowed his eyes at Sirius.</p><p>“Did you know?” he asked, “Did you know he was going to be here?” </p><p>Sirius frowned, his mind visibly working to figure out who Harry could possibly be talking about. There was no way Sirius hadn’t known. Harry was sure he had received a list of invites along with their invitation to this event. Plus, Sirius was related to Draco. Surely he would’ve known. </p><p>“Who, honey? Who is here?” Lily was clearly beyond confused and shaken with worry as Harry took yet another sip from his drink like he was just another young celebrity fuck up, so done with the world that he was drinking straight vodka at two in the afternoon. </p><p>Harry saw the exact moment Sirius solved the puzzle and watched as realisation washed over his face. He cleared his throat.</p><p>“Oh! So I gather you saw him?” </p><p>Of course Sirius had known. And he hadn’t told him because he had also known Harry would have been hesitant to accept the invitation had he known Draco would also attend the event. </p><p>“I did indeed. And what a lovely conversation we had, I’m so glad you gave me a heads up.” </p><p>At least Sirius had the decency to look somewhat guilty, Harry gave him that. More than that though, he actually looked surprised.</p><p>“You talked to him?”</p><p>“Of course I did. Have you met me? I’m a masochist.” </p><p>Harry emptied the rest of his drink all at once, gesturing for the waiter to bring him another. </p><p>“I’m sorry, who are we talking about?” Lily asked, beyond confused now. </p><p>Harry didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. It was like he physically couldn’t get his name on his tongue.</p><p>“Draco Malfoy,” Sirius supplied for him, and Lily’s eyes widened a little. </p><p>“Oh! But that’s nice, isn’t it? You two haven’t spoken in so long, and it’s such a shame. You used to be so close.” Lily smiled a little. She had no idea, bless her heart. “I would love to say hi to him, I haven’t seen that boy in so long. I really worried about him after he left the band. Narcissa told me he was struggling quite a lot.” </p><p>Harry took a deep breath, grateful for the drink the waiter handed him. He closed his eyes, shaking his head.</p><p>“Please. Please don’t talk to him.” </p><p>His mum frowned. </p><p>“Why not? What happened to you boys anyway? You never said.” </p><p>“Yeah, what actually did happen?” Sirius joined Lily in looking intently at Harry, and Harry’s mood impossibly dropped even further down the drain. </p><p>He scoffed, finishing his drink in one go and gesturing for yet another. He might as well get completely wasted now and pass out in his room rather sooner than later. </p><p>How would he even begin to explain, even if he wanted to? He hated everything about this situation, about Draco, about sitting here being questioned by his mum and his manager, about the secret he’d kept for so long. </p><p>Harry stared into his vodka as if it was holding all the answers to the universe.</p><p>“We fucked,” he murmured grumpily, throwing all his shits out of the metaphorical window. He was drunk and miserable enough to just not care anymore. </p><p>He watched his mum and Sirius both visibly splutter. The profanity was probably the last thing either of them had expected to hear. And it didn’t even begin to describe what had actually happened between them. </p><p>“What?!” they both asked at the same time, incredulously staring him down.</p><p>“When?” Sirius added. “Today?” </p><p>Harry scoffed again. </p><p>“God, no.”</p><p>“Is that why he left the band?” Lily asked, the look on her face soft but unreadable now. Harry couldn’t tell what she was thinking.</p><p>“No. Him leaving the band was what fucked us over, actually. To answer your question, Sirius, pretty much regularly from 2014 to 2017, bit less frequently towards the end. We were making out with each other before 2014, though.” </p><p>Sirius and Lily both gasped in surprise, and Harry thought there was also a hint of disappointment and disapproval on their faces. He couldn’t blame them. </p><p>“No one knew,” he answered their unasked question, “Well, except Oliver. He… well, quite forcefully had to find out. So yeah, surprise?”</p><p>“You actually—” Sirius started, clearly at a loss for words. “All this shit about you and Cedric your fans wouldn’t let go of, and all the while you were screwing Draco?” </p><p>“Yes. You keep asking me who <em> Antidote </em> is about. Now you know,” Harry told him, emptying yet another drink, trying not to think more about the song he’d written about sucking Draco’s dick, essentially. He really needed the soothing feeling of the warm, burning alcohol running down his throat. </p><p>“I’m not sure I wanted to know after all, thank you.” Sirius shook his head. “You and Draco.” As if he just couldn’t believe it. “For so long too, Jesus Christ, Harry. It’s a miracle you weren’t caught. That would’ve been one hell of a scandal.” </p><p>Harry shrugged. He’d never really given a rat’s ass about anyone finding out. But Draco had not wanted anyone to know, and they had both known they would have gotten into a lot of trouble with their management if it got out that they were romantically involved, especially because Draco had officially been in a relationship with someone else for some of the time. The risk had been too high and they had been too important to each other. </p><p>Lily was quiet for a long time, and Harry looked up to find her regarding him with motherly care. Worry, but also like she knew there was more to it than Harry let on.</p><p>“Harry, honey,” she finally said, her voice as kind and caring as ever, “Did you love him?” </p><p>Harry closed his eyes, his heart sharply coming to a hold in his chest before speeding up like crazy. Of course she would see right through his cold profanities. Not that it was very hard to see. Their little relationship had always been dangerous; not a risk you would take for some pleasure you could just as easily get anywhere else; Harry had been a wreck when Draco left the band, and out of all of them they were the only ones who still didn’t talk. They had been cold and distant about each other in interviews; Harry was a mess now. Harry was a known, hopeless romantic. </p><p>“Yes,” he breathed, his hand clenching around the cool glass of his drink. </p><p>His mum nodded, knowingly, a sad smile gracing her lips. </p><p>“And did he love you back?”</p><p>Sometimes Harry would tell himself that Draco didn’t, that he hadn’t. But deep down he always knew that wasn’t true. Draco had loved him with all that he’d had. </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>Lily nodded again, and Sirius was just staring at him like he had grown a second head. </p><p>“Do you still love him?” </p><p>And that was the whole goddamn issue, wasn’t it? The moment he had laid eyes on him again he had known that he did. He still was and had always been a goddamn goner for Draco Malfoy. </p><p>Harry finished what must’ve been his fifth glass of vodka and laughed bitterly.</p><p>“Fuck!” He ran a hand through his hair, covering his eyes. “Yeah, I do. And it fucking sucks.” </p><p>He couldn’t remember ever swearing so much around his mother before, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t think she minded either. It was the truth, all of it. Harry wasn’t sure what had possessed him to finally share it, after such a long time, but he would be lying if he said the weight on his shoulders didn’t feel a little bit lighter. </p><p>“Oh, Harry,” Lily said and leaned over in her chair to pull him into a motherly hug. </p><p>And that was the final straw. A godawful sob escaped him, and then he was just crying into his mother’s shoulder like a fucking 3-year-old.</p><p>
  <em> It’s too late, Harry. </em>
</p><p>So many regrets, so much hurt and pain that still wouldn’t leave him alone more than three years later. He had been doing fine; the wound in his chest had eventually stopped bleeding, and the pain had become bearable. But one look at Draco - not even that, just a few words uttered in his voice, had ripped it open again. Because he hadn’t let it heal, he had just put fresh bandaids over it, again and again. </p><p>“Fucking hell,” he heard Sirius murmur from across the table, “If I had known any of this, I wouldn’t have even told you about this event, I would’ve just cancelled on your behalf.” </p><p>Harry sniffed and looked up at him, still holding onto his mother. He shook his head.</p><p>“This fucking sucks but I feel like it was necessary,” he told him, sniffing again and bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes. He probably looked awful, and he hoped to whatever entity was in charge of everything that Draco wouldn’t walk by and see him like this. </p><p>He also felt all the alcohol he had consumed now, and he didn’t trust himself any longer. For all he knew and all his desperation, he might just jump Draco and cling on like a monkey until he agreed to work their shit out. </p><p>“Three years is an awful lot of running,” Lily said softly, reaching up with both hands to wipe Harry’s tears away and kiss his forehead. </p><p>Harry gave her the tiniest of smiles and sniffed again, a few more tears rolling out of the corners of his eyes. </p><p>“I can’t believe you never told me,” Sirius said now, and Harry scoffed.</p><p>“Oliver was the only one who knew, and I didn’t tell him either, he walked in on us once. Not even the boys know. Besides, you would’ve just told me to stop and I didn’t want to hear that.” </p><p>Sirius looked grumpy, even for his standards (he always looked a bit grumpy) and Harry couldn’t even blame him. There were few things he kept hidden from Sirius.</p><p>“Could’ve told me after, though. When you were a fucking wreck and none of us knew why.” </p><p>Harry shrugged. The truth was, it had been too painful to talk about, so he had done his best to push it away, bury it deep inside himself, slap band aids on the wound in his chest, and write songs about it. </p><p>“I let my music speak for me,” he just said, unable to make himself even more vulnerable. </p><p>Sirius sighed and ran a hand over his face.</p><p>“Let me guess, ‘<em>Bedside Table Blues </em>’?” </p><p>Harry nodded. </p><p>“One of many.” </p><p>“It makes so much sense now that I think about it. I can’t believe <em> I </em> never figured it out, but some of your fans did.”</p><p>Harry laughed a little at that, wiping away the last of his tears and letting go of his mum. </p><p>“They’re very perceptive. Plus, there is a lot of wishful thinking involved that makes them see it a little easier I suppose, in your defence.” </p><p>“Yeah, but they don’t actually know you,” Sirius said grumpily and actually pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He rarely ever smoked; only when he felt particularly stressed or upset, so Harry let him have it. He had dropped quite the bombshell on him after all. </p><p>“So, what now?” he asked as he lit a cigarette and inhaled. “Do you want to leave? Because we can leave. I can have a jet home ready for you in no time, just—“ </p><p>“No,” Harry said firmly, “I’m done running. If Draco doesn’t want to talk to me that’s fine, but I won’t run again.” The last time he had run he had ruined everything. He had to hope that this time, not running would have the opposite effect. </p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p> </p><p>Harry quickly realised that the universe must have an absolute grudge against him. Because when he finally made his way up to his hotel room to get some rest after downing two more gay vodkas just because he could, none other than Draco Malfoy stood by the elevators, waiting to go up to his own suite as well, probably. </p><p>Draco looked at him right away this time, before Harry had any chance to avoid him, and his own pride wouldn’t let him run when Draco had already spotted him.<em> No running. Not this time. </em></p><p>Plus, Harry was fairly drunk now, and he really didn’t care that much about anything anymore. He was mad at Draco, stupid Draco with his stupid beautiful face and his stupid tattoos and his stupid ridiculous half smile. </p><p>“You look awful,” Draco told him once they were standing opposite each other in the elevator. “Have you been crying?” </p><p>Harry wasn’t sure if it was just his drunk mind playing tricks on him, but Draco did look a bit guilty at the idea. Sad, even. </p><p>Harry looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were puffy and red rimmed, there were tear streaks on his cheeks, and his hair was even messier than usual.  There wasn’t really any denying that he had indeed been crying. And Draco fucking Malfoy knew it. </p><p>“Maybe I just did too many drugs,” Harry slurred slightly, and Draco gave him a concerned look. </p><p>Harry rolled his eyes. </p><p>“I’m joking. I did have too many gay vodkas, though,” he said, giggling at himself. </p><p>That just made Draco look confused and his dumb face made Harry giggle even more. </p><p>“Issa joke. Straight vodka. I’m gay, so my vodka is gay too.” </p><p>Draco let out a small noise that sounded like a strained laugh, crossing his arms in front of his chest.</p><p>“You aren’t gay,” he sneered, and that just didn’t sit right with Harry. He narrowed his eyes a little and stepped forward into Draco’s space, bringing their faces as close together as he could without actually touching him. He had moved so fast that Draco didn’t even have a chance to stop him. </p><p>Harry stared down at his plump, pink lips for a moment, swallowing hard, before turning his gaze up to meet Draco’s eyes. </p><p>“Well, I’m certainly not straight. And…” he licked his lips, and he didn’t even know what he was doing anymore, “as the vivid and frankly quite fond memories of your dick in my ass tell me, neither are you.”</p><p>Draco stood there stock still, his shoulders tense, as his gaze fell down to Harry’s lips. </p><p>“Harry…,” he breathed, “You can’t just… <em> Fuck! </em>” </p><p>And before Harry’s drunk brain could even register what was happening, Draco’s lips were pressing against his, eager and desperate, and despite the shock, as if acting on instinct alone, Harry kissed him back. It was a rough kiss, angry and frenzied, pinched with longing and something they both hadn’t felt in a long time. Something they could only make each other feel; something no one else ever could. </p><p>Harry grabbed at Draco’s waist, and Draco’s hands buried themselves in Harry’s messy hair, pushing and pulling. </p><p>It was like they were both pouring all the pain and sadness, all the heartbreak and resentment into the touch of their lips, and the whole avalanche of feelings that were buried beneath. Harry knew he still loved Draco, had told his mum and Sirius so only an hour before, but the magnetic pull, the electricity between them, just confirmed it for him. He was completely and utterly fucked. </p><p>They couldn’t have been kissing for long when the elevator made a high pitched sound and the doors opened - an elevator ride only was a matter of seconds, after all. Harry and Draco jumped apart a little belatedly, both hearing a gasp, and turning to face a very surprised looking Remus Lupin.</p><p>Five years in the band and they had only been caught once. Now they kissed one time, made that one mistake, and naturally they had to be walked in on. At least it was only Remus Lupin, Harry acknowledged with a sense of relief. They were friends, him and Remus, ever since Harry had first appeared on his talk show a couple of years back.</p><p>“Oh!” Remus managed to say. “Jesus. Merlin. Of all the things I expected to see today, this certainly wasn’t on the list.” </p><p>“Remus—” Harry started, but Draco was faster. When Harry dared to look at him, he saw the red flush all over his face and neck. He was embarrassed, but much more than that, he was angry. Furious even, beyond mad. And Harry knew he would be yelled at as soon as Remus was gone. Maybe he deserved it. </p><p>“Not a word to anyone, about this. Okay?” Draco’s voice was dangerously close to a snarl, and suddenly he was fully his father’s son, the rich kid born into a wealthy, conservative family, taught from birth that the world owed him something just because of who he was. It was the entitlement that they had clashed over when they had first met, the arrogance Draco had turned into something more likable over the years. </p><p>“Draco, come on,” Harry said, voice calm and soft.</p><p>“Oh! Oh god, oh I would never,” Remus promised, “This…” he gestured between Harry and Draco, “Is none of my business anyway.” </p><p>Harry knew he wouldn’t tell. And that’s what he told him. </p><p>“I know you wouldn’t. Now if you would excuse us, Remus,” Harry said with a reassuring smile, grabbing Draco’s arm and dragging him out of the elevator. </p><p>“Harold,” Remus said with a nod and a tiny bow. Harry knew he would have to talk to him later. The elevator doors closed, and Draco tried to pull away from Harry, glaring furiously, but Harry had seen that coming. He knew Draco too well. He kept his grip tight and firm, and when Draco opened his mouth to start yelling, Harry clamped a hand over his lips to shut him up. </p><p>“Not here,” he told him, and without further ado, dragged him down the hallway to his room, steeling his nerves for what was to come, suddenly feeling more sobered up than he would have after his initially planned nap. </p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p> </p><p>“Before you say anything,” Harry started once they had entered his hotel room and closed the door behind them. He was still slurring a little, despite feeling surprisingly sober after their elevator encounter with Remus Lupin. Maybe it was just an illusion and he was actually still quite drunk. He’d consumed quite a lot of alcohol after all. </p><p>“I would like to remind you that <em> you </em> kissed <em> me </em>out there. Just, you know, before you murder me for something I’m not alone to blame for.” </p><p>Draco’s nostrils flared and he clenched his fists and while Harry knew he would never hit him, he took a few steps back anyway. </p><p>“What the fuck was your intention then, Potter? What the fuck?” he finally yelled, and Harry flinched. Draco wasn’t one to yell. Draco never yelled. Draco was the quiet, calculating one. He always seemed calm and collected to the outside world, smart and articulate when he did speak up, his own mind all the louder for it. </p><p>“I didn’t have one. I’m drunk,” Harry said honestly. </p><p>“You think that’s an excuse for you to just—”</p><p>Harry shook his head.</p><p>“No, and I’m sorry. You said I wasn’t gay like that’s true or anything you would really know now, and I just. Snapped. For that I apologise. Still, you kissed me. Why?” </p><p>Draco stared at him, then turned to punch the wall, immediately regretting it and clutching his fist.</p><p>“Fuck!” he hissed, and Harry rolled his eyes. </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Dray,” he said as he walked over to him, taking his hand in his to inspect it carefully. Draco flinched away, but Harry gripped his hand anyway, gently checking if he had broken any bones.</p><p>“Doesn’t seem to be broken. It’s probably gonna bruise, though. Maybe you shouldn’t punch any more walls,” Harry told him. Draco glared. “Or faces,” Harry added, dropping Draco’s hand and stepping back. </p><p>“You haven’t answered my question. In fact, you haven’t answered my question earlier either, when I asked you why you hugged me. Why, Draco?” </p><p>Draco visibly deflated then, all the anger melting away. He looked exhausted now, fragile. His eyes shadowed with sadness. </p><p>“I hate you so much, H,” Draco said with a sigh, and Harry felt his heart breaking a little. He couldn’t blame him. Harry hadn’t been supportive when Draco had needed him the most, he’d been selfish, he’d been awful in every way possible. And worst of all, it had taken him way too long to understand that. But it still hurt to hear. However, it was the H, the single H he used as a nickname to address him, that gave him a flicker of hope that Draco didn’t actually mean it.</p><p>“I hate you. I fucking hate you. You think you can just waltz back into my life like the last three years never happened, like you didn’t rip my heart to shreds just when I needed you the most.” </p><p>Harry sucked in a deep breath, his heart physically aching as he looked at Draco, realizing how tiny and miserable he looked standing there in the middle of the room, absently clutching his bruised fist. Draco wasn’t supposed to look tiny; Draco had a presence he could never really put into words. He was quiet, and mysterious, pointy and a little bit arrogant, but he turned every head upon entering a room. </p><p>But most of all, Harry never wanted him to look so miserable; and least of all had he ever wanted to be the reason for it. Draco had broken his heart, too; they had both made mistakes. But it hurt him to realise how easily it could have been avoided, had he just tried a little harder; to understand, to fight for them. </p><p>“I know. God, I know, Draco. It took me a long time, too long, but I understood eventually. And I’m sorry. I’m just so goddamn sorry,” Harry told him, stepping closer again. It took a lot to resist the urge to reach out for him. </p><p>Draco sighed, sadly.</p><p>“That doesn’t change anything, Harry. Not anymore. I told you earlier, and I will tell you again: it’s just too late.” </p><p>Harry couldn’t help scoffing a little in frustration, running a hand through his growing hair. He tugged a little, just to settle himself, to get out the newly sparked residual anger simmering in his stomach. </p><p>“Yeah, I really got that impression back out in the elevator. We’re both so done with this,” he snapped. They were getting nowhere if Draco continued to act like this. </p><p>Draco’s expression settled back to cool anger, his jaw set and his eyes fixed on Harry, nostrils flaring a little. They were going through a rapid rollercoaster of emotions. </p><p>“What do you want from me, Potter? Do you want me to blow you? Will you leave me alone then? Are you just that desperate for it? No one else ever lived up to the task?” </p><p>Harry stared for a moment, dumbfounded. </p><p>“What the fuck? No.” He shook his head, actually laughing a little under his breath. “I’m not that sexually frustrated, thank you very much. I don’t actually feel the desperate need to get off with my ex just to make our fucked up relationship even more complicated.” </p><p>He noticed Draco flinching infinitesimally at the word “ex,” and maybe it wasn’t officially accurate, but it was what they were all the same, there was no point in denying it. </p><p>“Then what is it that you want?” </p><p>“I just want us to be okay again,” Harry told him softly, “‘cause I’m not, and I haven’t been in a long time, not really. And I can see that you aren’t, either.” </p><p>He gave Draco the tiniest smile, and Draco nodded, finally. He walked over to the bed, then, and flopped down onto the edge, burying his face in his hands. </p><p>“This would be so much easier if I wasn’t still—” he started, his voice muffled by his hands. </p><p>Harry walked over to sit down beside him, making sure that he was far enough away from Draco that it would take deliberate effort to touch him. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>Draco glanced up at him, eyeing him like he was a bit dense. </p><p>“Well. You know what happened in the fucking elevator. You were there. I’m a goddamn fucking fool for you, Harry Potter, always have been.” </p><p>Harry stared at him again, holding Draco’s gaze and letting out a surprised laugh. They were both silent for a moment, and then Draco started laughing as well, almost hysterically. It was like they couldn’t help it; and soon they were both toppling over on the bed, clutching their stomachs, ridiculously, hysterically laughing at their own bullshit. One hell of an emotional rollercoaster. </p><p>They were both just wriggling around on the bed for a while, laughing like a bunch of maniacs. Eventually their laughter died down, and they ended up lying on their sides, facing each other. </p><p>Harry smiled softly, mirroring Draco’s gorgeous half smile. </p><p>“I’m a fucking fool for you as well, Draco Malfoy,” he said, barely more than a whisper. “Always have been.” </p><p>They were just looking at each other for a moment, and Harry felt it again, building up in the pit of his stomach. That magnetic pull, that overwhelming feeling of just having to touch Draco or he might as well die. That indescribable, addictive electricity filling the space between them. It drew them together, inexorably, and once again, before Harry even knew what was happening, their lips were touching, softly, gently this time. Harry drew in a shaky breath. This hadn’t been the plan. Why could nothing ever go to plan between him and Draco? He couldn’t let this happen again. He knew very well that second chances didn’t come easily in this life, and when you were lucky enough to get one, you couldn’t take it for granted. </p><p>He whimpered into the kiss and briefly pressed closer, kissing Draco deeply and with fervour, before putting a hand on his chest and gently pushing him away, creating a few centimeters of space between their mouths. </p><p>Draco looked gorgeous like this. A bit disheveled and vulnerable, his plush lips pink and wet from kissing Harry’s, a faint blush high on his pale cheeks, making him look so much less pointy and so much younger. Harry had always felt lucky to be one of the select few that ever got to see him like this. </p><p>Draco stared at him wide eyed, processing. </p><p>“No,” Harry said softly, “As much as I want to, we just can’t right now. It would ruin everything. Likely beyond repair this time, for good.” </p><p>“You’re damn right we fucking can’t,” Draco said just as softly, despite the harsh profanities. “Fuck!” </p><p>He rolled onto his back, one hand covering his eyes as he faced the ceiling.</p><p>“I have a girlfriend,” he said, pointlessly. </p><p>Harry sighed. </p><p>“I know.” Not that it had stopped them in the past. Harry had always been Draco’s dirty little secret, of sorts. It had hurt; sometimes more, sometimes less, but Harry had been too far gone for him to quit. He’d rather have taken a bit of Draco’s love, just a little bit of his heart, than none at all.</p><p>“Don’t you have one, too?” Draco asked. </p><p>Harry snorted, thinking of the newest in the long list of his failed relationships.</p><p>“Nah. Called it quits weeks ago, just didn’t work out. It never does.” Harry couldn’t help the bitterness seeping into his tone. The breakup had been inevitable, he’d seen it coming months ahead; and he wasn’t heartbroken over it, had never gotten that invested in the first place. But it was frustrating, to just watch all of his relationships inevitably die before they could even reach puberty. It got lonely, sometimes.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Draco said, and Harry could tell by the tone of his voice that he meant it. It made him feel a certain way that Draco cared at all. </p><p>“It’s fine. It sucks, but I’m fine.” </p><p>Draco nodded, slowly turning to face Harry again. </p><p>“You love her?” he asked, his soft tone not betraying any of his emotions.</p><p>Harry laughed a little, a hollow thing that disappeared as quickly as it came. </p><p>“Nah. I thought I could, at the start. But nah.” </p><p>There was a pause, and Harry bit his lip, anxiously biting down as he focussed on the tattoos gracing the side of Draco’s neck. They were all new and Harry itched to reach out and trace them, make himself familiar with them. </p><p>“D’you love Astoria?” he finally asked, daring. </p><p>Draco hummed, a hand coming up to scratch at his stubble. </p><p>“I do. I’m not sure it’s working out, though,” he said honestly. </p><p>“Why?” Harry’s voice was once again barely more than a whisper. </p><p>Draco gave him a lopsided smile, tongue darting out between his teeth. And <em> goddamn </em>, how Harry loved that smile, and how much he had missed seeing it. </p><p>“Well. For one, I kissed someone else,” he said and Harry felt a blush creeping to his cheeks, “Twice now.” </p><p>Harry hid his face behind his hands. How had they gone from angry to sad to laughing to kissing to surprising honesty and cheeky flirting in such a short amount of time? </p><p>“To be honest, though, we’ve been hanging by a thread for a long time now. We <em> had </em> been broken up, too, as you probably heard.”</p><p>“Yeaahh. I did. It was hard to miss. Nice pap photos there, when you got back together. Personally, I was too distracted by your neck tattoo to pay attention to anything else going on,” Harry told him with a smile, hand reaching out to touch the side of Draco’s neck and trace the outlines of the rose tattoo. It took him a moment to realize what he was doing, and when he did, he quickly snatched his hand back as if he’d been burned. At least he had avoided thinking about the painful stab to the heart he had felt when he had seen the pictures of Draco kissing Astoria in the middle of London. </p><p>Draco didn’t look bothered. He grinned, hand reaching up to touch his own head where Harry’s fingertips had been just seconds before.</p><p>“Yeah? You like it?” he asked.</p><p>Harry smiled.</p><p>“Love it.” He did, he really did. It was very <em> Draco </em> and it was brave and bold and beautiful. He remembered Draco getting his first tattoo so many years ago, an act of rebellion against his wealthy, strict father and the conservative values he’d grown up with. </p><p>“Astoria hates it,” Draco murmured, his grin darkened by a fraction. “So does my father, but that’s no surprise to anyone.” </p><p>“I really want a new tattoo,” Harry said, choosing to ignore Draco’s quiet remarks, “It’s been so long.” </p><p>Draco hummed, eyes wandering over Harry’s tattoo-covered arms, resting on the ones he wasn’t familiar with for a moment, before moving on. </p><p>“What do you want to get?” he asked, and it was almost painful because it felt so much like they had fallen through a wormhole straight back to 2014. </p><p>“Not sure yet, maybe something album related. Something that reminds me of the good time I had on tour, and. Well.” He blushed a little. “The personal growth it meant for me.” </p><p>Draco gave a fond, quiet laugh.</p><p>“You mean essentially coming out by singing a song you wrote about liking dicks?” </p><p>Harry poked out his tongue at him, more heat rising to his cheeks. So Draco had heard about <em> Antidote </em>.</p><p>“Amongst other things,” he agreed, confidently meeting Draco’s eyes. </p><p>There was a pause.</p><p>“Is it—” Draco started, never finishing his question, but Harry knew what he wanted to know anyway.</p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>“I figured. Well, just. You know, I’m proud of you. Despite everything else, when I first heard it— I was really proud, H. Writing that song and singing it in front of so many people, putting yourself out there like that, it was really brave. Not to mention that it’s a damn good song. Brilliant, even.” </p><p>Harry’s heart warmed at the compliment. He’d never expected the subject of the song to approve so much, phrased in so many beautiful words directed at him. </p><p>“Thank you,” he said softly, “That means more to me than I can express.” </p><p>Draco was still looking at him with soft eyes, though now there was something else there. Pensiveness, hesitation. </p><p>“Sometimes I wish I could be that brave. All the time, actually. But you’re the only one—” He paused, frowning as if he’d just painfully remembered something, “Or well, I guess you, Oliver Wood, and Remus Lupin are the only ones who—”</p><p>Harry bit his lip, the faint feeling of guilt rising up his spine. He had shared their secret, and with that he had also shared Draco’s, essentially outing him against his will. He hadn’t even thought about it like that before. </p><p>“Actually…” he started, and Draco’s eyes widened a little.</p><p>“Who did you tell?” he asked, visibly scared now. </p><p>“Just my Mum and Sirius. I’m so sorry, Draco. I didn’t mean to share your secret I just had to—” Harry tried to explain, a little panicked. But then Draco reached out to grab his hand, squeezing it comfortingly. </p><p>“It’s okay, Harry. I can’t expect you to just not tell anyone at all, that would be cruel.” </p><p>“I almost told Neville at one point,” Harry admitted. It had been shortly after Draco had left, and Neville had been worried about Harry. He had asked a lot of questions, and Harry had been so miserable, he had almost given in.</p><p>Draco sucked in a breath.</p><p>“That’s— that’s fine as well, I guess. Old Nev wouldn’t say anything anyway,” he said, a lighthearted smile tugging at his lips that immediately made Harry feel a bit lighter as well. </p><p>“I think he’s suspecting something anyway.” </p><p>Draco nodded.</p><p>“I think you’re right.”</p><p>There was a long pause that Harry used to intently inspect the tattoos on Draco’s arm, especially the ones he didn’t know yet. He remembered long nights perched on their hotel room beds, the buzz of a tattoo gun filling the air while they inked bad, ridiculous tattoos onto each other’s skin, feeling high on life, and love. He also thought of the tattoos Draco had drawn for him, the small lily on his arm being one of the first he ever got. </p><p>“What if I told you I had my tattoo gun with me?” Draco asked eventually, breaking the silence. Harry’s eyes widened.</p><p>“Wait, really?”</p><p>Draco grinned. “Yep.” </p><p>“Why on earth did you bring your tattoo gun to Sicily?” </p><p>Shrugging, Draco reached out for Harry’s hand again, idly playing with his fingers as if he didn’t even know what he was doing.</p><p>“Dunno, you never know when you’re in the mood for a tattoo?” </p><p>Harry laughed, trying to ignore the warmth spreading in his chest as Draco kept caressing his fingers. </p><p>“You’re a weirdo, Draco Malfoy.” </p><p>Draco’s tongue poked out between his teeth again as he grinned, and Harry felt a wave of fondness and affection wash over him. </p><p>“I know, but you love it,” he said, and then quickly shut his mouth, the smile disappearing as if it had been wiped away. He dropped Harry’s hand as if he had been burned and Harry swallowed.</p><p>“I do,” he whispered with a sigh, averting his eyes and biting his lip. There was another pause, a tense and uncomfortable one this time, and Harry desperately tried to shake it. He knew he shouldn’t have said it. It was the one admission going just a bit too far, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he had already ruined their tentative attempt at rekindling at least parts of their friendship. </p><p>“Let’s do it!” he said cheerily when the silence was getting too heavy, and it was the only thing he could think of.</p><p>“What?” Draco asked, voice cracking a little. </p><p>“Tattoo me.” </p><p>“Now?” </p><p>Harry nodded, smile broad and enthusiastic. The thrill of potential new ink, just like old times, made him feel the alcohol in his system again, making him just a little bit more reckless than he would usually be. </p><p>“Yes, come on!” </p><p>“I don’t know, Harry. You’re drunk,” Draco said, frowning, and Harry snorted.</p><p>“Never stopped you before.” </p><p>“Yeah, because more often than not I was fucking pissed too, and we were young and stupid.” </p><p>“And what are we now?”</p><p>Draco considered this for a moment, then grinned, a crooked, lovely little thing.</p><p>“Young and stupid?” </p><p>“Definitely. So let’s get you drunk, then. And then, tattoos,” Harry announced cheerfully, getting up from the bed and holding a hand out for Draco to drag him back up to his feet as well.</p><p>He sighed in surrender and Harry knew he had won. </p><p>“I have a feeling this is a really, really bad idea,” he said. Harry shrugged.</p><p>“Just what we’re best at, then.” </p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p> </p><p>Harry was well on his way to being wasted, clutching Draco’s shoulder as they were laughing at some old inside joke, when Lily found them at the hotel bar. She frowned for a moment, taking in the scene in front of her, and Harry braced himself for her disapproval, laughter slowly fading out as she met his eyes. Then she looked at Draco, and a warm smile appeared on her face that Draco returned immediately. </p><p>“Draco, love. I haven’t seen you in so long, how have you been?” she asked, as softly and kindly as ever. </p><p>Draco got up from his barstool and stepped into her open arms, letting her motherly hug embrace him.</p><p>“Lily! It’s good to see you, too,” he said, slurring a little, “I’ve been— I’ve been great— better.” </p><p>Lily stroked his shoulder in a comforting gesture, before letting go of him and giving him a genuinely caring smile.</p><p>“That’s good to hear, dear. I’ve been listening to your music, and I’ve been thoroughly enjoying it. You’re a very talented young man, I know Narcissa is very proud of you, and so am I.” </p><p>“Oh, thank you,” Draco said with the tiniest bit of hesitation, a faint blush creeping to his cheeks, and Harry knew exactly what he was thinking. Wondering if she knew that her son was the subject of a lot of his songs. </p><p><em> Passionate fucks and screaming matches, forever stuck between heaven and hell, </em> pretty much described their relationship towards the end. <em> Reckless boys with big dreams</em>, always.</p><p>“Well, you’re very welcome, dear,” Lily told him, then looked back at Harry, her gaze wandering from one to the other.</p><p>“So it looks like you two have been catching up nicely.” </p><p>Harry sighed. He knew she was worried about him. He <em> had </em> been crying rather pathetically over Draco just a few hours earlier after all. But things were going great now; he felt high on life, and the alcohol buzzing through his veins, and the thrill of reconnecting with Draco, slotting right back into their old ways around each other. </p><p>Draco nodded, shooting Harry a glance. Maybe a little too nicely, earlier. </p><p>“It’s been a long time,” he said vaguely. </p><p>Lily reached out to squeeze both their hands, making sure to look them both in the eyes before she told them, “Just be careful with each other, yeah? Neither of you deserves any more heartbreak.” </p><p>Harry blushed a little and avoided Draco’s eyes as well as Lily’s, focussing on sipping his drink instead. From the corner of his eye he watched Draco grabbing his own drink to do the same. </p><p>“It’s fine, Mum. We’re just talking,” Harry said, trying his hardest not to slur his words too much. Lies, but she didn’t have to know that. He stared at his drink a bit oddly. “And drinking.” </p><p>“That’s what worries me,” Lily murmured, barely audible, then shook her head. “Just make good decisions, yeah love?” </p><p>She ruffled Harry’s hair, then excused herself to her room to freshen up before the dinner party Harry had all but forgotten about. Well, that was going to be fun. </p><p>“Fucking weird, that,” Draco said when he sat back down next to him and emptied his drink in one go. </p><p>“Yup,” Harry agreed, doing the same. </p><p>“I didn’t even know your Mum and my Mum were talking,” Draco murmured. “Did you know?” </p><p>Harry shook his head.</p><p>“Not really. I mean I knew they were still somewhat friendly, but—”</p><p>“I guess it doesn’t matter. I just wonder if Lily told my Mum… you know, about us. I’m not sure I’m ready to come out to my family in any capacity. But then, Mum hasn’t said anything, so…” Draco babbled. He always babbled when he was feeling insecure or nervous about something. His accent became a little less posh then, as well, a little more careless. As arrogant as he could come across, he was the quietest and most introverted person Harry knew, but when his nerves were strained, Draco started babbling and it was hard to make him stop once he had gotten into the flow. </p><p>“Actually. I only told her this afternoon. Was a bit of a mess after our encounter and it just came out, ‘bout time, to be honest. Felt cathartic,” Harry admitted, surprising himself with his eloquence considering all the alcohol he had consumed. “Mum wouldn’t tell yours though. She wouldn’t,” he promised.</p><p>Draco nodded, eyebrows raised a little, still unable to keep his leg still. </p><p>“Sometimes I forget how close buddies you are with your Mum,” he said with a shrug, and Harry liked that. He liked when people recognised the close relationship he had with his Mum, unwaveringly. </p><p>There was a pause, both of them sipping on the new drinks that had been served to them unasked. </p><p>“Did you ever figure it out?” Harry asked eventually, the question feeling heavy on his tongue. It was a difficult topic to discuss casually. Draco looked at him blankly.</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“What you would even come out <em> as. </em> Formless blob <em> is </em> an option as well, though I get it’s not for everyone. Humans do love their labels.” </p><p>Draco had always been struggling with his sexuality when they were fucking around during their time in Diagon Alley, and he’d never managed to truly come to terms with it until he left the band. Harry didn’t know where he stood now; three years was a long time after all.</p><p>“Potter-sexual?” Draco joked, eyes crossing a little as he stared at Harry. He was well and truly drunk at this point. </p><p>It was an old reference; something Draco used to say a lot back in the day. Harry had been the first boy Draco had ever been with, maybe still the only. He’d always told him that he had never really felt the need to be with another boy, another <em> man, </em>before, or even during. Harry had been special. And a small part of him had always been happy to hear it, that he had been the one who had rocked Draco’s world so fundamentally. The boy he had been so ridiculously in love with, it still hurt sometimes. </p><p>“Still?” Harry asked, hoping Draco would get the full extent of the meaning behind his question. </p><p>Draco sighed, downing a good amount of his drink and rubbing a hand over his chin before facing Harry again. </p><p>“There were…<em> a few. </em>After.” </p><p>Harry hummed. He’d figured, sort of. And he was happy for Draco, even though his drunk brain served to enhance the feeling of being stabbed in the heart imagining Draco with someone else, and the twist of jealousy in his stomach. </p><p>“So I guess you outgrew that label after all,” he said, trying to sound casual. They were both so drunk though, Harry didn’t think Draco noticed either way. </p><p>There was a moment of silence that Draco used to carefully study his drink. </p><p>“Bi,” Draco said eventually, “I think. I read up on it a lot, and I think— I think it fits. I am honestly attracted to Astoria, and have been attracted to Pansy. Even though I do tend to prefer men.” </p><p>Harry felt a smile spread on his face, and he reached out to squeeze Draco’s forearm.</p><p>“I’m proud of you,” he whispered, and when Draco looked at him again, locked their eyes, Harry felt the strong urge to kiss him again, and with his inhibitions lowered even further now by the four extra drinks he’d had, it was so tempting and would be so easy to give in. But then he remembered they were in a public hotel bar, and his old instincts kicked in, making him pull away. He cleared his throat and turned to sip on his drink, a blush heating his cheeks. </p><p>It was going to be hard to resist this later; when it was all too tempting to drag Draco up to his room under the cover of darkness, the night wrapped like a blanket around them; laced with a dangerous sense of nostalgia, reminding them of the old, the earth shattering nights they had spent together tucked away in their own little bubble, far away from the rest of the world. </p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Harry and Draco both managed to show up to the dinner party in their best suits a few hours later, though they were both still considerably drunk. They had never gotten around to the tattooing after all, both giggling too much as they tried to help each other put on their suits after spending too much time talking and drinking at the hotel bar. It had felt like old times, almost. Sometimes it shocked Harry to realise just how well they got along, ever since they had gotten over their initial differences, how they were both similar and completely different in all the right ways, making them impossibly compatible, but also highly explosive. Because for all the harmony they could fight just as badly, with an intensity that had ended up sending them their separate ways for three years. </p><p>The party was filled with A-list celebrities. Harry spotted Celestina Warbeck in the middle of the room talking to Fresh Dumbledore, and he was pretty sure he’d seen Lady Gonagall and Harry Styles in a corner on the way in. He didn’t really care all too much. There were few people who still managed to make him feel starstruck and none of them were attending this prestigious event in a fancy resort in Italy. He had quickly learned that celebrities were just like everyone else, just people who happened to find success in the public eye with their art, their music, or their talent. Or some just used their looks or connections, or a reputation Harry wasn’t sure was desirable. Some, he didn’t even know what they were famous for. Either way though, celebrities just being people meant that you didn’t inevitably like them once you met them. Some you got along with, some you never would. </p><p>Harry gave Draco a look, a silent conversation that ended in agreement, and then they went their separate ways. No need to draw even more attention to themselves aside from already looking fucked up and flailing a little from drinking all day.</p><p>He found Remus Lupin with his Mum and Sirius near the buffet, and he released a breath in an attempt to ease the tension in his shoulders, embarrassment slowly creeping back in and heating his cheeks. He hoped to God Remus hadn’t mentioned anything about their elevator encounter to Sirius or his Mum. Especially his Mum; he didn’t really care too much what Sirius thought about it. </p><p>“Harold!” Remus exclaimed a bit too loudly when he spotted him. Harry flinched a little despite himself. Remus clapped him on the shoulder, and Harry smiled through it, poker face in place.</p><p>“Remus! Sirius! Mum!” he said a bit too cheerily, causing both Sirius and Lily to eye him suspiciously. </p><p>“Are you drunk? Still?” Sirius hissed. </p><p>Harry shrugged. He hadn’t really done anything to stop being drunk. </p><p>“I thought you went to sleep it off earlier. I swear to God, Harry, if I have to box you out of any mess tonight—”</p><p>Harry held up a hand, swaying a little on the spot at the sudden movement. Oh dear. </p><p>“Calm down, Sirius. There will be nooo mess at all.” </p><p>Sirius didn’t look convinced at all. </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Harry. All I asked was that you sleep it off and instead you got even more pissed. I get that the situation with Draco is a tad uncomfortable but—”</p><p>Remus started coughing next to him and Harry shot him a glare to shut him up. But of course Sirius noticed; Harry was probably not as subtle as his drunk mind made him think he was. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>Harry smiled sheepishly, giving an innocent shrug. </p><p>“Nothing,” he said, knowing full well Sirius wouldn’t buy his drunken attempt at nonchalance. </p><p>Sirius kept eying him suspiciously, just on the verge of fury. Harry shrugged again, and Remus kept quiet, thankfully.</p><p>The staring went on for a few more seconds, then Sirius excused himself to get a drink. Lily just gave Harry a soft smile, having told him everything she needed to say earlier, and trusting his good judgment. Sometimes Harry wondered if she gave him too much credit. Then she excused herself to tell Celestina Warbeck that she adored her dress, leaving Harry alone with Remus, who cleared his throat as soon as she was gone. Suddenly Harry wished he’d gone to the bar before approaching them. Not that he needed any more alcohol in his system, but there never seemed to be enough in awkward situations like the one he found himself in right now. </p><p>“So, uh. You and Draco, yeah?” Remus asked awkwardly and Harry quickly glanced around to make sure no one was listening in on them. Another old habit. </p><p>“Shhh. Yes. No, I mean. Not anymore. Just— uhh. Oh fuck, it’s like. It’s complicated,” he stuttered out, slurring even worse than before. </p><p>Remus just looked confused now, if he hadn’t before. Harry couldn’t blame him. </p><p>He sighed a bit dramatically. </p><p>“We were, before. In DA. For like, years really. Then he left. We hadn’t seen each other in 3 years before today.” </p><p>Remus gave him a knowing look, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“Oha, I see.” </p><p>Harry scoffed a bit ridiculously and shook his head.</p><p>“It’s not like that. We didn’t fuck, not since 2017. We just kissed, and even that wasn’t planned. Draco and I… It’s all a bit messed up, y’know. It’s never been planned, we didn’t even like each other at first! And then it happened, and we just love each other too much to just fucking let it go and--” Harry rambled on, his drunken brain providing truths he definitely did not intend to share with Remus Lupin. They were friends, good friends even, but they weren’t close enough for Harry to share his pathetically stupid feelings for his ex-bandmate like a fucking loser, especially not in the middle of one of the fanciest dinner parties Harry had ever been to. And he’d been to <em> a lot </em> of fancy dinner parties in his time.</p><p>Remus looked slightly uncomfortable now, and once again Harry couldn’t blame him. More than that though, he regarded him with sympathy, and Harry absolutely hated that. But sure, Remus had just thought they were fucking, as much as that alone had surprised him, but then Harry had to go and drop the L word. </p><p>“Oh man, that’s one hell of a pickle you two got yourselves into there,” he said, then paused. “Do you like-- want to get back together with him?” </p><p>Harry stared. And stared. The question slowly processed in his mind. He’d stopped them earlier to not fuck them up even more than they already were, but did he really just want them to be friends again, and just friends, forever? Afraid of what his own answer might be, Harry shrugged.</p><p>“He’s got a girlfriend,” he said, pointlessly.</p><p>Remus raised his eyebrows.</p><p>“Well, that sure didn’t stop you earlier.” </p><p>Harry sighed, really desperately wishing for that drink if just to have something to cling onto.</p><p>“Never did,” he murmured more to himself, but he knew Remus understood when he reached out and squeezed his shoulder in a comforting gesture, that awful, sympathetic expression directed at him once more. </p><p>“Well. Take it from an old married man, Harold. Love is worth a fight, sometimes. In my case, I’m so grateful Dora fought for me the way she did, even when I isolated myself because of my condition.”</p><p>Harry snorted. </p><p>“You aren’t <em> that </em>old.” </p><p>“I could be your Dad.”</p><p>“Hardly.” </p><p>“Isn’t your Mum literally my age?” Remus asked with a shrug, and Harry laughed. He did tend to forget that he had friends who were his mum’s age. Then again, his mum was only 20 years older than him. </p><p>“You’re right, actually.” </p><p>There was a pause, and why did Harry still not have a drink in his hand? Where were the fancy waiters and their champagne flutes? </p><p>Finding that he was quite done talking about his feelings now, because frankly, they scared him - and they did even more so when he was drunk - Harry put a playful grin on his face.</p><p>“You should’ve seen your face when you caught us earlier. True comedy,” he teased.</p><p>Remus shrugged, sipping on his drink. </p><p>“Yeah, well. Imagine an elevator opening in front of you and revealing me and… Oliver Wood passionately making out against a wall. Same thing.” </p><p>Harry shuddered.</p><p>“That’s a mental image I never needed, thank you very much.” </p><p>Remus laughed. </p><p>“You’re welcome. We’re even now.” </p><p>Harry was immensely glad it had been Remus Lupin walking in on them earlier, and not literally anyone else in this room full of people who all thought they were way more important than they actually were. Well, maybe Harry Styles would’ve been okay as well. He seemed like a good guy, even though Harry didn’t know him that well. </p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Harry did end up drinking a bit more, just to be polite. At least that was what he told Sirius. So a few hours into the night, he was finally, completely and utterly wasted, if he hadn’t been before. </p><p>He danced clumsily with a woman he didn’t even recognize, his drunk feet making his moves look even more wild and uncoordinated than they usually were. He didn’t mind, though. He was having a great time, and he felt Draco looking at him from the side of the dance floor, so that was another bonus. </p><p>Eventually the DJ decided to take the complete piss and play one of his own songs, and that was all it took for Harry to lose it completely, singing along to himself at his utmost vocal capacity while going off like it was one of his shows and he was the center of everyone’s attention, owning the stage. He knew everyone was staring at him, but he was Harry Potter. And Harry Potter sometimes, often, liked the attention. He was a slut for it; for all the quiet time he needed for himself, and how awkward he felt most of the time, he quite loathed solitude, and he was definitely a sucker for attention, if it was given to him in the right way, on his own terms. He didn’t enjoy every other aspect coming with fame, none of the attention put on his private life and his person, but he did love being on a stage. </p><p>That’s where Draco was the complete opposite. Draco loved solitude; he loved being alone with nothing but his thoughts, and he very rarely enjoyed all the attention directed at him. Ultimately, it had been the reason he left the band; at least in part. He didn’t hate it; God knows he couldn’t be an international pop star if he didn’t somewhat thrive on attention, and being in the spotlight. But Draco was complex like that; he hated and loved it at the same time, as if he could never quite make up his mind. He’d once told Harry that he used to be an attention seeker growing up, but once he’d earned his father’s disapproval and the whole world wouldn’t stop talking about his private life, he’d realised that he didn’t actually enjoy it all that much. Having a room full of people staring at him each with their own expectations directed at him made him anxious, too, he’d said. Looking back, Harry didn’t know why Draco’s departure from the band had come as such a surprise to him. </p><p>Harry saw him, though, at the edge of the dance floor, drink in his hand and swaying precariously as he bopped along to Harry’s song, a grin starting to form as he was watching Harry. And that was all it took. </p><p>Harry crossed the dance floor, gesturing for Draco to drink up. Then he took the empty glass from him, shoved him at the person next to him, and grabbed Draco’s hand. </p><p>“You know the words?” he yelled over his own voice coming from the speakers. </p><p>“I feel like I should say no,” Draco shouted back, and that was all Harry needed to know. </p><p>The chorus was about to start again for the second time, and Harry sang it at Draco in the middle of the dance floor, grinning like a maniac. He shoved at Draco’s shoulder, signalling him to join in, and then, suddenly, miraculously, he did.</p><p>“<em>I’m going crazy, I think I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, I believe she went "If I'm going to kiss you now, please tell me it’s okay... </em>”</p><p>Harry was stunned into silence for a moment hearing Draco sing <em> his </em> lyrics, in his beautiful, rough voice, adapting the tune to his vocal range. </p><p>Then he joined back in, and it was magical. He made Draco dance along at his own pace, and it felt just like old days, when they would sing at each other in front of thousands of people, high on life, and buzzing with energy. Sometimes they would be a bit reckless and rub their crotches together or act like Harry was giving Draco a blowjob while Draco thrusted his crotch towards his face. Friendly stage banter; <em> bros</em>, nothing else. And sometimes they would revert to the early stages of their relationship and have a little poking match. </p><p>It was a little different now, but still the same, minus the sexual banter. And minus Diagon Alley. It felt good sharing the stage for one of his own songs, one he’d performed hundreds of times before, and was now dancing and singing along to with his ex-bandmate slash lover in a fancy resort hotel in Italy in front of a bunch of rich A-listers, who - Harry was sure - all looked a bit distraught by the scene. Except for Harry Styles, who just stood there singing along and looking utterly delighted. Maybe Harry should talk to him more, he thought faintly. </p><p>They rode the wave through the end, and when the last note rang out, they both put a fist in the air before bursting into loud laughter, clutching each other’s arms. Harry had barely time to catch his breath, though.</p><p>Of course, <em> of course</em>, the DJ had to put on a Diagon Alley song next. It had almost been unavoidable. But not only that, <em> of course </em>, he had to put on one that Draco hadn’t been involved in. </p><p>He was about to drag Draco off the dance floor, when he heard it. </p><p>“<em>My heart is an inferno, I’m brave even at the darkest hour of the night, just before the dawn, </em>” Draco sang Harry’s verse as if it was his own, as if he had never left them. Harry stared at him for a moment, tears prickling in his eyes, but then Draco tugged at his sleeve and Harry shook it off, joining in to sing the verse along Cedric’s voice from the speakers. </p><p>They did the whole song, dramatically performing along, both singing Harry’s high notes at the end at the top of their lungs, and when it was over, Harry hugged Draco so enthusiastically, violently almost, that they both ended up in a heap on the floor, laughing like a bunch of teenagers, high on life and drunk out of their minds.</p><p>“What a stupid fucking song,” Draco wheezed, and Harry hit him on the shoulder. </p><p>“Yet you know every fucking word,” Harry rebutted, and there was nothing Draco could say to that. </p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p> </p><p>“Harry!” Sirius hissed at him when he made his way away from the party about an hour later, an unopened bottle of champagne in his hand and Draco trailing along behind him. </p><p>“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” </p><p>Harry rolled his eyes. </p><p>“Out, <em> Mum</em>.” </p><p>“Harry, I told you—”</p><p>“Just let me live, Sirius, alright? I’m a fucking adult, stop telling me what to do,” Harry hissed back, feeling a bit guilty under the layers of alcohol in his system. Sirius was just trying to look out for him, as he always was. </p><p>Sirius raised his hands in surrender. </p><p>“Go ahead then. I can’t make your mistakes for you.” </p><p>Harry chose to ignore him, mentally flipping him off for good measure. He knew he wasn’t being fair; Sirius was just worried about him, and they were friends, but sometimes he got a little annoyed when Sirius acted like his Mum when his own Mum didn’t even act like him. </p><p>“Ah yes, Sirius. As pleasant as ever to see you,” Draco said, tipping his imaginary hat. Then he followed Harry outside before Sirius had a chance to reply. </p><p>They ended up walking halfway across the huge resort, passing the champagne bottle back and forth as they were stumbling along, until they stopped by a large pool near the beach. No one was around, and it was eerily silent, the waves of the ocean and the whirring of the pool the only sounds filling the fresh night air. </p><p>“We should take a selfie,” Harry said, grinning stupidly. “And then send it to the boys to shock them because we haven’t murdered each other yet.” </p><p>Draco laughed, looking at Harry like he was the funniest person he’d ever seen. Harry had missed that look so much. </p><p>“We should!” he agreed. “Issa bit dark there, though.” </p><p>Harry frowned, stumbling towards a little shed at the corner of the pool area. He ripped the door open, fumbling around a little until he found a light switch. He turned it on, and sure enough the lights around the pool suddenly illuminated their surroundings. Easy. </p><p>When he returned to Draco, he spent a few seconds admiring his grey eyes glowing in the cool, dim pool light. </p><p>“You’re too pretty, Dray. It’s not fair,” he whined, and Draco shoved him a little.</p><p>“You’re one to talk.” </p><p>Harry poked out his tongue as he laughed, fumbling his phone out of his pocket.</p><p>“C’mon,” he said, holding it up at the perfect angle for a selfie.</p><p>Draco appeared in frame, squishing his face against Harry’s and grinning stupidly. </p><p>He took a few pictures, then lowered his phone to look at the results. The quality wasn’t the best, but they were cute. So cute it warmed Harry’s drunk heart. They were squished so closely together, faces glowing with their bright drunk smiles.</p><p>He picked his favourite one, and sent it to the WhatsApp group the boys had created once upon a time and then never used. Harry had installed WhatsApp for the sole purpose and then he had never needed it; about time he made use of it. </p><p>Cedric was the first to reply.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: what the fuck, mate? </em>
</p><p>Neville was next.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: omg .. </em>
</p><p>Then Dean, not long after<em> .  </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: dude!  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry grinned, acutely aware of Draco’s head on his shoulder, trying to read along.</p><p><em> suprise!, </em>he typed clumsily, his drunk fingers betraying him a little.</p><p>
  <em> Nev is typing… </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Nev: about damn time </em> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: surprised you haven’t murdered each other on sight </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: i think this is great </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: maybe i will mabye this jus my coverup  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry glanced to the side to meet Draco’s eyes, playfully wiggling his eyebrows<em>. </em>They were dangerously close, so he turned away again quickly, focusing back on his phone. It was swimming in and out of focus a lot, so it took a lot of energy and multiple attempts to actually get a message across, or even read what the other boys said. </p><p> </p><p><em> Nev: blew it then </em> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: haha harry  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: im a shit crominal </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: are you drunk?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: very  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: that explains it then  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: no Draco and i are very friendkg to each other euth or witjout alcoohi </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: I’m sure you are ;)  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Neville knew more than he let on, and it was so painfully obvious that Harry suddenly felt the urge to throw his phone into the pool.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: did you know he knows all the worlds to Inferno </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: does he?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: yup and also Black Jeans  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: i really wish you were at a less posh event so i could laugh at the pictures of your drunk asses making a scene  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: i think rita skereeeeter posted an tease in her Instagram story so your welcome fornusb providing your Saturday night entertainment  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: ill have you know we looked and sounded great  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Thank the universe for autocorrect working in his favour in most cases because he sure as hell wasn’t typing correctly<em> . </em></p><p> </p><p>“Put me in the chat,” Draco said next to him. “I wanna say hi.” </p><p>“Uh, sure.” Harry nodded, going to add a new member when suddenly, he remembered. They hadn’t spoken in well over three years. They weren’t actually friends anymore.</p><p>“Oh. I don’t— I don’t have your number.” </p><p>It looked like Draco hadn’t thought of it either until this moment, had just blissfully forgotten about it. There was an awkward moment of silence, before Draco snatched the phone out of Harry’s hands unceremoniously and added his new number to his existing contact in a surprisingly smooth movement, his fingers flying across the keyboard. </p><p>“You never deleted my old one,” Draco observed, and Harry shrugged, attempting to hide the faint blush on his cheeks.</p><p>“Why would I?” </p><p>Draco smiled sadly, his face softening. </p><p>“Guess neither of us is particularly good at letting go,” he said, and Harry suddenly wished they weren’t so drunk.</p><p>He took his phone back and quickly added Draco to the group.</p><p> </p><p><em> Nev: Draconer! my man has finally returned from the war </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> Ced: i watched the story. harold, you two are ABSOLUTELY PLASTERED </em> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: never bothered u before  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: well look who the cat dragged in  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: it’s good to have you back Draco  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean: Ced is right though you do look plastered  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean: but nice note change in Inferno there, D </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: :D :D :D i’m thoroughly enjoying this  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: issa coping mechasnism  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: alcohol to mend a broken heart. could also try a kiss.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: already did, didn’t work  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry gasped and turned to look at Draco with wide eyes. Had he just? Draco shrugged, grinning, and focussing back on the text.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: hahaha </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: why do we always have to witness this stuff  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: aww Dean i’m happy to be back too, if for the sole reason to gross you out  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: it’s not gross, Draco is a great kisser  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: WHAT  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: lol </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: lol  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco: he’s right im an excellent kisser  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: I can’t even tell if they’re serious or not  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: neither can i  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: ;) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry put his phone down, deciding he had done enough socialising with the other boys for a day. Draco did the same, looking up to meet Harry’s eyes. They were still sitting close, near the edge of the pool, and the dim light made Draco’s eyes look dark, pupils fully blown and dangerous. For Harry, that was. There was a smirk ghosting around his lips; the cheeky high of teasing their friends with truths they had no idea were truths. It had felt liberating back then; a way to be honest without exposing themselves, without making themselves vulnerable. Harry wasn’t sure what it was now.</p><p>“I would say this feels like approximately 2014, but your hair is too short,” Draco mused, a hand reaching out to play with one of Harry’s stray curls. It made him feel warm all over, and his heart was beating just a little bit faster in his chest. </p><p>“So is yours,” Harry said, eyeing Draco’s short, light purple dyed hair and the silvery blond, shaved sides, “and it’s too purple.” </p><p>Draco reached up with his free hand, touching his own hair almost a little self consciously, and Harry chuckled.</p><p>“No worries, I love it. It’s a nice colour.”</p><p>Draco blushed a little, noticeable even in the dim pool light.</p><p>“Thanks. Are you growing yours out again?”</p><p>Harry nodded.</p><p>“That’s the plan. It’s a bit of an awkward length right now, making me look like a 17th century court minstrel who doesn’t own a brush a lot of the time.” </p><p>“Now there’s a fantasy,” Draco laughed, and Harry shoved him a little.</p><p>“Kinky fucker.” </p><p>Draco raised his hands in surrender.</p><p>“Oi! You were the one who put the image in my head.” </p><p>Harry smirked.</p><p>“Yeah, but were the one who turned my perfectly innocent words into some weird sex kink.” </p><p>Draco shrugged and there was a moment or two of silence, both grinning dumbly at the pool in front of them. Harry faintly wondered how they had ended up here; spending time talking and joking around just like old times. It felt too good to be true, and there had to be a storm coming still. He knew they were both still angry and hurt underneath it all; but right now, he was simply too drunk to even care. His drunken brain clumsily shoved the nagging sober thoughts away, and he was about to ask Draco about his new tattoos or something, but never got to it because without him noticing, Draco had got up and crawled behind him, and he was now trying to shove him into the pool. </p><p>Harry yelped, hands reaching behind him to grip Draco’s legs, feet pressing into the ground to make it harder for Draco. But Draco was strong, and he managed to lift him up a little, and that’s when Harry knew he would end up in the pool anyway so he gave up all his defences and let himself be shoved in, but making sure to keep the grip on Draco’s legs so the other man fell in right along with him. </p><p>The water was cool, but not too cold, almost nice still in the warm Italian summer night. It soaked Harry’s white shirt, making it transparent and clinging to his skin. The thick material of his expensive suit pants made it a little hard to move, and his shoes. Well. He could probably throw them out now. Gasping for air and laughing like a hyena, Draco reappeared at the surface, his lilac hair now several shades darker, and the thin material of his black shirt clinging to his torso, much like Harry’s, showing off his lean muscles. Harry found himself staring for a moment, his dick twitching, interested. Fuck. </p><p>He quickly averted his eyes and shoved all thoughts of running his hands over Draco’s chest away. Well, mostly. Suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable, he unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it off his skin and throwing it out of the pool, then doing the same with his shoes. </p><p>When Harry looked back up, Draco was staring at him, eyes wide, biting his lip. Harry knew that look all too well, he’d been at the receiving end of it countless times in the past. Draco still wanted him as much as he did back then, it was all but written in sharpie all over his face. </p><p>Harry wasn’t sure what was happening; he had a feeling he knew where this was going, though, and the rational, sober part of his brain yelled at him, alarmed, sirens on full volume. But Harry was drunk and stupid; and the drunk part of his brain was screaming much louder after the day he’d had. </p><p>Draco never took his eyes off him when he unbuttoned his own shirt, peeling it off and throwing it onto the heap of Harry’s shirt and shoes. Harry drew in a sharp breath, eyes wandering over Draco’s tattooed torso, the long, thin scars from a car accident when he was 16, over his arms and slim shoulders. There were so many more tattoos than before, filling the spaces between the ones he was familiar with. Harry waded a bit closer, and before he could even think about what he was doing, he reached out and traced the outlines of the snake spreading across Draco’s chest with his fingertips, his wet skin soft and cool underneath them. He felt Draco shiver, not daring to look up, intently focussed on his fingertips moving up to his neck, tracing the floral pattern there. </p><p>Harry felt the tension rising, and he knew what would happen the moment he looked up to meet Draco’s eyes. And he wanted to, god, he wanted to. But suddenly it seemed like the scariest thing in the entire world, too, so Harry did the one thing he knew how to do perfectly. Hiding his feelings behind silliness. He poked Draco in the side, in a rather sudden move, and then splashed water at him, making Draco splutter and gasp in surprise. The other man took a moment to snap out of it, but when he did, he shoved a whole load of water at Harry, laughing, and putting him in a headlock. </p><p>They kept wrestling for a bit, like a bunch of dumb drunk teenagers, trying to put each other underwater, laughing and yelling like it made any difference. Harry quickly realised he was inevitably fucked anyway, and his attempt at distraction had been futile, because wrestling meant that his skin was touching Draco’s in a lot of places, smooth and wet, their bare torsos rubbing together and making him hard in his trousers. </p><p>Harry did his best to avoid eye contact, but then Draco tried to dip him backwards, and Harry grabbed at his waist to keep upright, his hands slippery on his wet skin, so he wrapped a whole arm around him instead, bringing them impossibly close, and that’s when it happened. He looked down, and then up the few centimetres that Draco was taller than him, meeting his eyes. </p><p>Harry didn’t know who moved first, but their lips met, inevitably, wonderfully, in a heated kiss. There was nothing gentle about it at first. They were both grabbing each other almost violently, and Draco shoved his tongue in Harry’s mouth with a force that almost knocked him back. Harry sucked it in, letting his own tongue lick against Draco’s, their lips hard and mercilessly moving against each other. It was good, like that. It was their anger coming through, the hurt, the pain, the longing. The ridiculousness of it all. </p><p>They both deflated a bit after a minute or two, slowing down a little, their tongues retreating before meeting again more gently this time.</p><p>Harry wrapped both of his arms tightly around Draco’s waist, holding on and breathing him in as he let out a quiet whimper. Draco sighed against his lips, one hand coming up to the back of his neck, the other on his jaw, gently holding Harry in place. Their lips moved tenderly now, caring, loving, the other half of the feelings they were both carrying around taking over now. Longing, affection, friendship, <em> love</em>. The good memories. </p><p>And fuck, how Harry had missed this. The taste of Draco, the feeling of him under his fingertips, the way their lips slotted together perfectly, even the scratch of Draco’s stubble against his jaw. It was so good, Harry never even wanted to come up for air. They had to, though, eventually. </p><p>Harry bit Draco’s lip ever so gently, before pulling away a little, smiling at him.</p><p>“Shit, Dray,” he whispered. </p><p>Draco closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.</p><p>“This is such a bad idea, but fuck, Potter. I want you so much. It’s like no time has passed at all because I still feel the same fucking way I felt about you that last night in 2015, when I thought we could—”</p><p>Harry didn’t want him to finish that sentence, not now, not when they were drunk and Draco was more inclined to sharing his deepest thoughts and emotions whether or not he was actually ready for it. He knew they had to talk about it eventually; they had to talk about a lot of things. But not soaked and drunk out of their minds in a hotel pool at 2 am. </p><p>So Harry kissed him again, almost chastely this time, a gentle press of lips, before moving on to pepper kisses all over his face, along his jaw, up his cheek, the corners of his eyes, his forehead, the tip of his nose. </p><p>“Later,” Harry whispered against his skin. He felt Draco relax a little, and smiled, continuing his kissing trail down to Draco’s neck, gently kissing and biting, before soothing the spot with his tongue. “Let our sober brains do the talking.” </p><p>Harry came back up to kiss Draco’s lips again, pressing a bit closer again this time, when he heard some sort of shuffling behind him. Immediately alert, he jumped away from Draco as much as he could given the water around them, eyes wide. </p><p>“Did you hear that?” he asked, but Draco just looked confused and a bit scared; hurt, almost.</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“I could swear I just heard something, like someone moving noisily, I don’t know,” Harry said looking around. </p><p>“There is no one here, Potter. Calm down, will you,” Draco told him softly, wading closer again. </p><p>Harry frowned, still sceptical, but it was all easily forgotten when Draco kissed him again. There was no one here, in this luxurious resort in Italy in the middle of the night, it was just them in their little bubble. Harry’s drunk brain was probably just playing tricks on him. Yeah. </p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p> </p><p>They were laughing again, clutching onto each other, kissing and teasing, as they made their way to Draco’s hotel room. The hotel was eerily quiet around them, everyone having retired to their rooms hours before, probably. </p><p>They kept shushing each other between kisses, giggling ridiculously, and finally laughing out loud when Draco finally managed to open his door and close it behind them. </p><p>“I need a shower,” Harry announced. They were both still soaked with pool water, and the chemicals felt weirdly dry and uncomfortable on his skin. </p><p>“Hmm,” Draco hummed, “Me too.”</p><p>In hindsight, what happened next had been inevitable. Much like everything else happening that day. They got in the shower together, both ignoring the voices in their heads telling them it was a bad idea, and both rock hard as they shimmied out of their pants. </p><p>“It’s tempting, but we shouldn’t, Dray,” Harry said, slurring a little less now that his last drink was hours in the past. They were both staring at each other’s dicks, like idiots, like horny teenagers in a communal shower. </p><p>Draco hummed in agreement and they went about their showering business, each soaping themselves up, massaging shampoo into their scalps, and rinsing it off one after the other. </p><p>It all went smoothly for a good ten minutes, but then Harry turned and the tip of his dick brushed Draco’s hip and that was that. They were onto each other in a heartbeat, Harry pressed against the wall as Draco kissed him hungrily. Harry moaned into the kiss, the feeling of their wet dicks rubbing together almost enough to make him come. He shoved Draco back against the opposite wall, effectively changing their positions. Then he dropped to his knees, looking up into Draco’s eyes as he took him in his mouth, sucking and licking and touching like he’d never stopped doing it, making Draco shiver and moan, and cry out his name. He felt smooth on his tongue, familiar. It was like taking his favourite drug again after three years of withdrawal. </p><p>
  <em> He provides me with my antidote… </em>
</p><p>He had almost forgotten how good he was at this, and how much he actually enjoyed sucking dick. Especially Draco’s. He knew all the little ways to make Draco crumble, to make him fall apart on his tongue, pleasure surging through his body. </p><p>It didn’t take long for Draco to come, warning him in advance, but Harry let him, swallowing around Draco’s orgasm before pulling off with an obscene, wet <em> pop</em>. Draco pulled him back to his feet immediately, hungrily kissing his own taste off Harry’s lips. And then Harry was shoved back against the other wall, and when Draco dropped down to return the favour, Harry felt like his whole body was setting on fire. He wasn’t going to last long, overwhelmed by the feeling of finally having Draco’s warm, wet mouth around him again; and <em> shit </em>, was Draco still good at this. It felt like being cured from the worst and longest hangover ever, which was funny, considering how drunk  he still was. </p><p>
  <em> I had a taste of him and now I’m drunk on it… </em>
</p><p>The pleasure surging through him was almost too much to handle as he was all but fucking into Draco’s mouth, one of Draco’s hands tightly gripping his arse, the other resting on his hip holding him in place; and when he looked down to see the obscene stretch of Draco’s lips around his dick, that was all it took to tip him over. </p><p>“I’m gonna…” he warned, and Draco pulled off, working him through it with his hand, until Harry sagged against the tiled wall, spent, chest heaving, and the urge to laugh and cry filling him in equal measure. </p><p>Draco got up in a smooth motion, reaching out, gently caressing his cheek and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. </p><p>“Now. How about that tattoo, Potter?” he asked.</p><p>Harry grinned a bit dazedly. </p><p>“Let’s.” </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Reckoning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry was woken by a phone vibrating on the nightstand, again and again, as if a million messages were coming in all at once. He groaned, clutching a hand over his ears, and nuzzling further into the warm body beneath him. The warm body stirred, though, and Harry irritably opened an eye, confused, then opened the other too to find Draco staring down at him, eyes wide. <em> Oh shit.  </em></p><p>And that’s when all the memories from the previous night and the previous day came flooding back over him. <em> Oh fuck </em>.</p><p>There was bright light coming in through the blinds, which meant it was morning, and Harry’s left forearm felt strangely sore. He barely realised it over the incessant pounding pain in his head though, and he groaned, stupidly burying his face in Draco’s chest instead of rolling away, which is what he should have done. They were both in their pants, and pants only, chests pressed together as Harry was sprawled across him.</p><p>Draco sighed beneath him, and then Harry felt his fingers softly running through his hair. Okay. </p><p>“I really don’t have a single shred of self-control around you, do I?” he said, sounding defeated, but like he had decided to accept his fate. </p><p>“You remember everything?” Harry mumbled against his skin.</p><p>“Yeah,” Draco said, “Do you?”</p><p>It was coming back piece by piece.</p><p>“I think so.” </p><p>“Good.” </p><p>The phone was still vibrating away and Harry looked up to glare at it as if that would somehow make it stop. </p><p>“What the fuck is going on?” </p><p>Draco frowned. </p><p>“I don’t…” He reached for the phone. “It’s yours. <em> Merlin </em>.” He frowned again, deeper this time.</p><p>“You have 105 missed calls, and 243 new messages, apparently. Also 61 voice mails.” </p><p>Harry bolted upright, suddenly alarmed.</p><p>“What the fuck?!” He grabbed the phone, seeing for himself. Draco wasn’t lying.</p><p>Shaking a little, he unlocked his phone, opening WhatsApp first because naturally it was the app with the least messages waiting for him, therefore looking less intimidating, all sorts of horrible scenarios running through his head. </p><p>The boys had been active in their group. Taking a deep breath, Harry opened the chat. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU ARSEHOLES  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: ARE YOU MAD  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: FUCKING HELL  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: i really have to say i was not expecting this  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean: i actually agree with Cedric for once  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: HAHAHA YOU MAD FUCKERS  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nev: I FUCKING KNEW IT  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: not sure this is a laughing matter, Neville  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean: the press is already all over them and it’s gonna be like this for months, probably  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean: what the fuck were you thinking, you twats  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: probably nothing, they were too busy shoving their tongues down each other’s throats  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: just be glad this happened now and not while we were still in the band  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: what’s that supposed to mean  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: hahaha they were obviously fucking all the time in the band, they’ve just never been caught  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: what?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: Harry, Draco i swear to god you better tell me this isn’t true  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: and please tell me this isn’t why Draco fucked off  </em>
</p><p><em>Ced: cause i’m</em> <em>gonna kill you, both of you in cold blood, and i’m gonna enjoy every second of it </em></p><p> </p><p>Harry suddenly felt sick to the stomach. He had a horrible, horrible idea what had happened and he was terrified to open Twitter to confirm his suspicions. He must have gone visibly pale, because Draco reached out for his hand and gave him a concerned look.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Fuck,” was all Harry managed to say, painfully aware that he was still straddling Draco’s hips. </p><p>He shut his eyes for a moment, then closed out of WhatsApp and opened Twitter. </p><p>And there it was. Harry was sure he was going to be sick. Trending number one worldwide. #DrarryIsReal </p><p>And right underneath. </p><p>#DrarryKiss </p><p>Harry Potter </p><p>Draco Malfoy</p><p>#GayagonAlley</p><p>Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy kiss </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t even have to scroll. The pictures were right there, everywhere. Harry and Draco wrapped around each other in the pool, kissing, both shirtless. There were a few of Harry kissing his neck too, a few of him peppering kisses across his face, a few of them just holding onto each other. They looked painfully in love, just there, for all the world to see. <em> Out </em>. Fuck. </p><p>FUCK. </p><p>“FUCKING SHIT!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!”</p><p>Harry scrambled out of bed, pacing back and forth, tugging painfully at his hair, looking for his clothes. Draco watched him for a few moments, concern visible on his face. Then he got up and reached for Harry, naturally trying to calm him down.</p><p>“Harry. Darling, what’s wrong? Please talk to me.”</p><p>His voice was so soft and caring, and Harry just started crying because he knew the moment Draco found out he would stop using that voice, he would maybe just stop talking to him again altogether. </p><p>“H, please. Talk to me?” </p><p>“This is all my fault. You’re gonna hate me again, or just even more than before, and it’s all my fault, again,” Harry rambled, feeling like the world was closing in on him as horrible panic washed over him. </p><p>“Okay, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong.” Draco already sounded less soft now, and he didn’t even know yet. Harry’s heart broke for him, for them. He handed him his phone, still opened on Twitter. </p><p> </p><p>Harry knew the shove was coming before it actually came. Draco threw the phone onto the bed with a loud “FUCK!” and then shoved Harry, his back colliding with the wall behind him.</p><p>“Ow!” </p><p>Harry had no way of stopping the tears now, he was in so much pain, mentally as well as physically. He was bent over, supporting himself with his hands on his thighs as violent sobs shook his body. </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Draco,” he managed to say, and then a wave of sickness washed over him, sending him hurtling towards the bin, and he threw up into it when he realised he wouldn’t make it to the bathroom. </p><p>As he was sitting there on the floor bent over the bin, still choking up vomit, he was pretty sure he had never felt more miserable in his entire life; not even when Draco had left the band, left him. This felt like the end of the world; maybe because it <em> was </em> the end of a world, something they could never come back from. It was just out there now, they were <em> out </em> . And this was so much worse for Draco, because Harry had sort of, mostly, been out before. He’d spent a whole tour singing about sucking dick and liking it, after all. But Draco had been pushed out by force, and it physically hurt Harry to even think about. Not to mention the privacy of their relationship, the scrutiny they would have to endure, and the fact that they were still so fucked up and Harry loved Draco so fucking much, but Draco was terrified and hurt and furious at him, and Harry couldn’t even blame him. Harry wasn’t sure they would ever be able to fix it now, mend their broken hearts, truly mend them, and start afresh. They hadn’t even fixed the old wounds, the old residual pain, they had just gotten caught up in their magnetic pull towards each other again, in their chemistry, and the way they just truly <em> liked </em> each other and got along, and then they had kissed, and sucked each other off in the shower, and Draco had tattooed Harry’s own damn lyrics on his forearm— </p><p>Harry looked down, for the first time, inspecting the fresh, raw tattoo on the front of his forearm, fit in between all the others.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I see him in my dreams, the way he looked when he... </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was nice enough, the font was lovely, and Draco had gotten really good with the tattoo gun, even when he was drunk. </p><p> </p><p>And because they had been having fun, Draco had also drawn a cartoon-ish cactus and tattooed that in the remaining space on Harry’s arm.</p><p> </p><p>“A cactus?” Harry had asked, a tad confused at the choice of motive. </p><p>Draco had grinned and nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I think you should have a cactus tattoo. Suits you.” </p><p>“Why?” </p><p>“Because you’re a prick.” </p><p>Harry had burst out laughing and swatted his shoulder. Draco had shrugged.</p><p>“Prick.” </p><p> </p><p>Back in the present, Harry was still holding onto the bin, and Draco was pacing behind him, his breathing uneven. Harry knew he was having a panic attack. And he also knew that right now, he couldn’t help him. </p><p>“Why do I always get sucked back in with you and then my life just goes to shit?” Draco asked eventually, voice cold and a little shaky. “You ruined my life! Again!”</p><p><em> Explosive </em>, Harry remembered. He and Draco were so compatible and yet so different at the same time that they were explosive together. In all the good, but unfortunately also all the bad ways.</p><p>“Fuck, Draco! I didn’t— You kissed me just as much as I kissed you. I didn’t bring a fucking photographer to make your life harder!” Harry finally got back up from the floor, wiping at his mouth. “I told you I heard something! I was fucking right! Maybe you should go and knock on Rita Skeeter’s door if you want to hand out blame.”</p><p>Draco closed his eyes and shook his head, suddenly looking just as miserable, defeated, and exhausted as Harry felt. </p><p>“I hate you so much,” he said, and Harry was convinced that he meant it in that moment. “This is all a fucking mess. We’re a fucking mess, I just don’t think we’re good for each other, Harry.” </p><p><em> But we are, </em> Harry wanted to say, except he wasn’t so sure anymore. Maybe Draco was good for him, but he wasn’t good for Draco. Harry stayed silent, crumbling on the inside. </p><p>“They all <em> know </em> . The whole world knows. It’s just out there— I’m— <em> I’m </em> out,” Draco sank back down onto the bed, head in his hands. Then, suddenly, he looked up, pale.</p><p>“Oh my god, Astoria!” He jumped back up and scrambled around the room, hastily searching for his phone. He found it in the pocket of his jeans that he had discarded in the bathroom the night before. He stared at it intently for a couple of minutes, then threw the thing against a wall with so much force that the screen cracked multiple times. It was Draco who was sobbing now, and Harry just couldn’t watch it any longer. He walked across the room and wrapped Draco into a tight hug that Draco hesitantly returned, just letting them both sob onto each other’s shoulders for a while until they both felt drained.</p><p>“What did she say?” Harry whispered, already knowing.</p><p>“She called me a dirty cheater and that I should go to hell, but to give her a few weeks and we can probably be friends again then, but just that. <em> Friends </em>.” </p><p>Harry bit his lip as guilt washed over him.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Dray. I shouldn’t have— I shouldn’t have let us—”</p><p>“As you correctly stated earlier, I kissed you just as much as you kissed me,” Draco said and closed his eyes for a moment, “Look, this isn’t 2017 anymore. Blaming you is still my first instinct, and I <em> am </em> mad, don’t get me wrong, but I know better now, and putting all the blame on you again would just make me a dick. We’re both fucking morons, completely idiotic twats. I’m sorry for shoving you.” </p><p>Harry looked at Draco for a little while, processing. </p><p>“We’ve really grown up after all, haven’t we, Malfoy?” </p><p>Draco shrugged.</p><p>“I guess we have our moments.” </p><p>He clenched his fists at his sides and Harry stepped back a little, wary despite his words. Draco had a temper, and it was impossible to predict. </p><p>“I just wish I wasn’t so angry. See, I know all of that and I mean it, but I’m so fucking angry at you, Potter. You drive me insane! You’re like a fucking tornado, sweeping me up and bringing chaos to my life, and it’s fucking messy and it makes me sick sometimes, but when it’s gone I miss it because like a fucking masochist, I love it. I love the thrill, I love the raw natural power of it, I love the unpredictability. The way it makes me feel like nothing else can. I love it,” Draco shook his head, looking at the ground, scoffing at himself. Then he looked back up, meeting Harry’s eyes. “I love <em> you </em>.” </p><p>He said it quietly, defeated, like it was something that made him miserable more often than not, but he just couldn’t help it.</p><p>Harry’s heart skipped a beat, then another, before speeding up in his chest, tears welling up in his eyes. <em> I love you.  </em></p><p>He remembered the last time Draco had told him that all too well; more than 3 years ago now, both sweaty and panting heavily as Harry was slowly fucking into him<em>, loving him goodbye</em>.</p><p>Draco had reached up to push Harry’s long, sweaty curls behind his ear, gently caressing his cheekbone and looking him in the eyes.</p><p>“I love you, Harry. I love you so fucking much.” </p><p><em> Then stay </em>, Harry had thought. He had felt like somehow the fact that Draco was leaving invalidated his words; now he knew better. He had leaned down to kiss him, instead of saying it back. Something he still regretted sometimes, years later. Not that it would have made any difference. </p><p>“Fuck,” Harry said, “Fuck, Draco. Shit.” He shook his head, because Draco was right, they were so fucked up. “I love you, too.”</p><p>That was all it took. Draco grabbed Harry around the waist, pulling him close and crashing their mouths together. He was angry, and he loved him, and it was all pouring into the rough kiss. He didn’t even seem to mind that Harry had just puked moments before and was pretty certainly still tasting like bile. </p><p>They were both still in their matching tight black boxers, and Harry’s skin felt like it was on fire in all the places it was touching Draco’s.</p><p>Draco sucked sharply on Harry’s mouth, then moved down to his neck, biting and kissing and sucking roughly, and it hurt a little, but Harry moaned and dug his fingernails into Draco’s back. He knew it would bruise; he would have a hickey for all the world to see, but he had a feeling that was exactly what Draco wanted. </p><p>He moved down further, did the same to Harry’s collar bone, then turned them around and shoved Harry onto the bed with a force that knocked the breath out of his lungs. </p><p>“Pants off,” he growled and Harry complied. </p><p>He shimmied out of his boxers, watching as Draco was rummaging through his suitcase. It took a moment before Draco returned to the bed, throwing a bottle of lube and a condom next to Harry on the mattress and taking off his own pants before Harry could even process what was happening. <em> Shit. </em></p><p>He shivered when Draco crawled on top of him and kissed him just as roughly as before, pushing and pulling. It tasted disgusting, bile and morning breath making an uncomfortable cocktail, but Harry figured it just matched their pace. This wasn’t supposed to be lovely. Draco moved back down to his neck, his teeth scraping his skin, and Harry was achingly hard at this point. Draco had always had that effect on him, and he moaned so loudly when Draco finally touched him, he faintly feared the whole damn hotel could hear him, but then, what did it matter anymore anyway. </p><p>“Fuck, Draco!” </p><p>Draco looked at him intently, something wild, animalistic in his eyes. He was so angry, and so sad, and so desperate, and it was all pouring into his actions, into the way he roughly used his fingers on Harry, before removing them, wiping them off on Harry’s stomach and grabbing the condom. He tore the packet open with his teeth, and rolled the condom on in a smooth movement, before coating it with lube. Harry was staring, dick twitching in anticipation, biting his lip. It had been so long. So damn long. </p><p>Draco pushed in too fast. Harry had forgotten how big he was, and he yelped when the sudden pain of the stretch hit him, but it was quickly soothed by Draco’s movement. Draco reached around him, a hand under his ass, angling him just the right way. It was almost too much. Having Draco so close again, in the most intimate way, the pleasure washing over him, and remembering how much he actually enjoyed being fucked. The odd feeling of intrusion, of his body wanting to get rid of the intruder, while also wanting more at the same time because it felt so unbelievably good. </p><p>“You feel amazing, darling,” Draco said, momentarily slipping out of his angry demeanour. He kissed him, softer this time, and then quickened his pace and hardened his thrusts. </p><p>“Fuck! Fuck!” Harry yelled, feeling himself getting close just by the friction of Draco’s stomach against his dick, and the way Draco hit his sweet spot just right. </p><p>He looked at Draco for a moment through the haze of the insane pleasure running through him, and he faintly wondered if this would be it, the last time. The thought almost made him tear up, so he wrapped his legs tighter around Draco’s waist as he fucked into him roughly, and got up on his elbows to get closer to him, but Draco wouldn’t have it. He grabbed his wrists from underneath him, making Harry fall back onto the bed, and pinned them above Harry’s head. His grip was too tight, and the raw tattoos felt sore against the sheets, but Harry barely noticed because the movement had brought their faces close and intensified the friction against his dick. He surged up to kiss Draco, and Draco moaned against his lips. </p><p>They both came like that, at the same time, their lips pressing against each other without moving, just breathing each other in, Harry’s hands pinned above his head. </p><p>It was the best, and somehow, despite the anger, the most intimate feeling orgasm Harry had ever had. </p><p>Draco quickly pulled out and rolled off him, letting out an angry growl. </p><p>“Draco—” Harry started, not sure what to say. He was still breathing heavily, simultaneously feeling the lightest and heaviest he’d ever felt.</p><p>“If anything this just proves how bad we are for each other,” Draco said, staring at the ceiling, “Instead of dealing with our fucked up mess, we just fuck it out. Except there is nothing to fuck out. The world still knows, and we’re still fucked for each other.” </p><p>Draco wasn’t wrong. Communication had never really been their strong suit, it’s what had led to three years of silence in the first place. </p><p>“I’m not sure I want to face the world yet,” Harry said. It felt like they were still hidden away from the world in the bubble that was Draco’s hotel room and as soon as they opened the door the waves would come crashing in, knocking them off their feet and dragging them away with their force. </p><p>“You think I want to? Literally no one is gonna be surprised about you, but me? Everyone is gonna think they have the right to discuss my sexuality, everyone is gonna think I owe them all the answers. Not to mention all the questions about us and our relationship, specifically. And— not even just the public. My family. My <em> father </em>! God— I don’t even…” Harry felt Draco tense up again, close to a panic attack, and he reached over to squeeze his hand.</p><p>“Hey. One step at a time, yeah? I’m here, too. And I know this is harder on you, but we’re in this together.” </p><p>He felt Draco relax the tiniest bit, and that was enough for now. A step.</p><p>“Maybe we should start by replying to the lads,” Harry sighed, searching for his phone that had gone lost somewhere between the sheets. He found it under Draco’s butt. Of course. He gave him a soft slap to ease the tension, then let himself fall back onto the bed, looking at his phone. The boys had sent a few more texts while Harry and Draco had been preoccupied. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: Harry, Draco i swear to god you better tell me this isn’t true  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: and please tell me this isn’t why Draco fucked off  </em>
</p><p><em>Ced: cause i’m</em> <em>gonna kill you, both of you in cold blood, and i’m gonna enjoy every second of it </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: where the fuck are they  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: maybe Sirius took their phones away, lmao  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: or they’re busy fucking and haven’t even noticed that the whole world is talking about them yet </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: you really disgust me sometimes, longbottom </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: i’m probably right </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nev: there’s nothing wrong with it  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: not generally, no, it is when it’s two of my best mates, though. i really don’t need these images in my head. i’ve seen enough today. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: i just hope they’re okay  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Harry got up to collect Draco’s shattered phone from the ground. He couldn’t be in this alone. Handing it over, he flopped back down onto the bed, suddenly acutely aware of his own come drying on his stomach, but not about to do something about it.</p><p>“I’m gonna need a new phone,” Draco stated, but started scrolling over the cracked screen anyway. At least it still seemed to be working.</p><p>Harry sighed again and decided he was going to be blunt; there was no point in pretending anymore anyway.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: hi mates </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: HARRY POTTER YOU FUCKING TWAT  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: are you okay, Harry?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: finished fucking?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry snorted, and surprisingly, so did Draco beside him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: yes </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: yes  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: i’m gonna fucking kill you  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: violence is no solution, ced  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: we don’t need any more press right now  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: you don’t want any more grey hairs because you were working yourself up again, do you, ced?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry grinned and looked up, finding that Draco was grinning back at him. They really did seem to be in this together for once. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: you fuckers </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: are you together right now  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: yes  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: disgusting  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: care to answer my questions, then? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: sure  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: nev was right </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: about everything actually. almost. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: how are you both so calm?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: we weren’t </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: Draco shoved me, I threw up in a bin, there was some yelling, and then we had angry sex </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: that, and blissful denial  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: HAHAHA I TOLD YOU I WAS RIGHT  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>Ced: I</em> <em>just threw up in a bin reading this </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: i don’t think i can get used to this  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: i’m bummed, Thomas, do you not want the juicy details of me fucking Harry just about 10 minutes ago?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: ew  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: nothing ew about it ced, it was earth shattering sex  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: aw you flatter me, darling  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: i actually agree with ced on this one, ew  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry was acutely aware of Draco sitting next to him, both propped up against the headboard, still completely naked, looking at their phones, and he tried not to blush. It felt strange, being so open and blunt about their <em> thing </em>; dangerous, almost. The thrill almost made him laugh hysterically. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: what is this, are you like together now? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: are you like in love now or some shit  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And that was the question of all questions, wasn’t it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: i wish there was anything new about it,  that would make it less fucked up </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: ‘i was only 18 when i fell in love with my best friend…’ </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: are you serious right now  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: once again i can’t tell  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: Ced, we were fucking for years in the band. I thought i told you Neville was right  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: there’s a difference between love and fucking  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: sometimes there isn’t  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: oh, for fuck’s sake  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: for the love of god, please tell me you didn’t leave the band because of some lover’s quarrel you two had  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: i didn’t  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco: i promise it wasn’t that  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco: if anything, harry would’ve been the reason i stayed if he had asked </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry looked up from his phone, staring at Draco, eyes wide.</p><p>“Would you really have?” </p><p>Draco let his eyes and they were soft; sad. </p><p>“Come on, Potter. Of course I would have.”</p><p>But he hadn’t, had he?</p><p>“I DID ask, though! I pleaded for you to stay!” </p><p>Draco shook his head. </p><p>“Did you really, though?” </p><p>Harry thought back to those nights; the days before Draco’s departure. </p><p>“You can’t leave!” Harry had yelled, “What about the band? What about us?” </p><p>Then, “Don’t leave! I can’t let you leave!” </p><p>And finally, “Please don’t leave me, please don’t do this.” </p><p>He hadn’t asked. Not once. He’d been too busy being angry, and confused, and upset, and selfishly caught up in his own feelings to even consider it. Of course he knew now that leaving the band had been the right thing for Draco to do; but three years ago he hadn’t seen it. He’d been so preoccupied with his heart breaking, but being too proud to actually let himself feel it. So he’d pleaded with Draco not to leave him, but he hadn’t once asked him to stay. Not with the band, not with him. </p><p>“I never looked at it that way,” he admitted.</p><p>“You know I had to leave, Harry. You wanted out too, you suggested the breakup, but it was worse for me. You know it was.” </p><p>“Yeah,” he said quietly, “I know that now. I was too caught up in my own feelings to see it back then, but I do now. I’m sorry.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: wow, mate  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: wow  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: what are you going to do now? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Dean: are you gonna be like, official?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: no. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: we aren’t together, Dean </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: we literally hadn't talked in over 3 years before yesterday  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: but you know people are going to ask a lotta questions </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: doesn’t mean we have to answer them  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: how did we never know? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: we were just excellent at sneaking around </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: only been caught once in like 4 years </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: by who? who knew? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: oliver wood </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: of course, that bloody wanker  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: i did know. sort of. had a hunch  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: Ced, are you mad?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Cedric took several minutes to reply this time. Harry knew he was mad before he even said it, though. They had been on semi-bad terms ever since the band’s breakup, because Cedric never wanted them to stop and he blamed Harry. They had been walking on eggshells around each other for quite some time before that even, drifted apart for a lot of different reasons, and the breakup and Harry’s involvement in it happening in the first place had pretty much killed any remaining friendship they had with each other. </p><p>He had no idea how Cedric had been standing with Draco over the past three years. They had been close before Draco’s departure, but Cedric had been having a hard time forgiving Draco for leaving them in the middle of a world tour, the end already in sight. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: yes  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: you arseholes lied to me for years  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: you fucked up the band  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: the breakup was good for all of us  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: of course you’d be on their side  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dean: i’m not on anyone’s side  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Nev: he’s right, Ced  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: i’m sorry for lying ced  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: Ced…  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: come on  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Before anyone could type anything else, there was a loud knock on the door followed by Sirius yelling and probably alerting the entire luxury resort.</p><p>“HARRY POTTER, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE, TOO. Draco! FOR FUCK’S SAKE, YOU IDIOTS!”</p><p>Harry groaned, and Draco just looked terrified. They had managed to hide away in their small bubble for a little while longer, but now Sirius was pounding on the walls and fragile as they were, they were just about to burst. Harry was a bit terrified, too, frankly. He’d never heard Sirius yell like that; he usually wasn’t one to make a scene, especially not in public. </p><p>“Draco?” Harry asked, a bit timidly, looking him in the eyes. “No clue what’s gonna happen from this point on, so…” </p><p>He leaned over, closed the distance between them, and pressed a kiss to Draco’s lips; the softest thing at that, a gentle press of lips, lingering just a bit longer, like a reassurance, and ending with a heaved breath. </p><p>Then he got up from the bed, finally wiped the come off his stomach with a discarded shirt, and scoured the floor for his boxers. He only found Draco’s after a hasty glance around and put those on instead, feeling a bit fuzzy in the head. He pushed the thought of Draco’s dick touching the very same fabric to the back of his mind and made his way to the door. </p><p>Sirius shoved him inside the moment Harry opened it, a mix of fury and exasperation displaying on his face. </p><p>“Will you please calm down, Sirius?” Harry asked, nerves strained already. The exposure to the public was enough to deal with already, he didn’t really need any of Sirius’s lectures. </p><p>Draco had quickly covered himself with the duvet, still leaning against the headboard, when they entered the bedroom part of the suite. Sirius’s eyes quickly scanned the scene, taking in Draco’s appearance, the messy bed sheets, the condom wrapper on the floor, and finally Harry, eyeing him from head to toe. Harry felt a bit exposed like that, only wearing Draco’s thin black underpants. Sirius had seen him like this countless times, but somehow it felt different today.</p><p>His gaze got caught on the fresh tattoos on Harry’s arm, red rimmed because he hadn’t taken proper care of them so far. </p><p>“As much as I do love you, Harry, sometimes I don’t understand you,” Sirius finally said, eyes coming back up to meet Harry’s. </p><p>Harry shrugged.</p><p>“Well, that makes two of us,” he said.</p><p>“Three,” Draco announced from the bed, making both of their heads snap around. It was almost comical, the way he was perched there cool as ever, observing the scene. To anyone who didn’t know him, Draco would look perfectly nonchalant and carefree, disinterested almost, the perfect picture of his posh upbringing, but Harry could feel the tension bubbling under the surface. </p><p>“I understand <em> you,” </em> Sirius pointed at Draco, “even less.” </p><p>Draco shrugged. </p><p>“You hardly know me.” </p><p>“Evidently,” Sirius sighed. Draco and Sirius had never gotten along very well, partly because Draco’s father was a conservative snob who had his own issues with Narcissa’s side of the family. </p><p>There was a pause, silence hanging heavily between them, until Harry decided he had enough.</p><p>“I don’t have to explain myself to you, Sirius.”    </p><p>Sirius sighed, running a hand through his hair.</p><p>“That’s true, but more than your manager, I’m your friend, Harry. I’m just worried about you.”</p><p>“Well, you don’t have to be. I’m fine.”</p><p>“You say that now, but after watching you cry and get drunk over this guy less than 24 hours ago, you have to excuse me if I have a hard time believing that.” Sirius had hushed his voice, but it was still loud enough for Draco to hear, evident by the way his eyes widened just a fraction, and there was a shadow that looked like sadness coming across his features. Harry shot Sirius an angry glare.</p><p>“Thanks, Sirius,” he hissed. </p><p>Sirius raised his hands.</p><p>“Look, I’m sorry. But there is a bigger mess we have to deal with anyway. The whole world— wait. Have you—” He looked around the room again. “Have you even checked your phones yet?”  </p><p>Harry sighed and flopped back down onto the bed. </p><p>“Unfortunately, yes. It wouldn’t leave us alone with its incessant noises.” </p><p>“And you didn’t think to come to me right away?” </p><p>Harry shook his head, feeling quite done with being treated like a child. </p><p>“Nope,” he said challengingly, “We had sex instead.” </p><p>Draco started coughing behind him, and Sirius blinked at him like he’d suddenly grown two heads. Good. It took Sirius a good minute to recover, and Harry found it highly amusing. </p><p>“How the fuck are you so calm about this? You’re trending number one worldwide. The whole world witnessed your foreplay.” </p><p>“Yes. And there is nothing we can do to change that, so what’s the point in freaking out?” </p><p>It was a good point, and Harry saw Sirius coming to the same conclusion in the span of a couple of seconds. </p><p>“Alright then. How would you like us to handle this, then?” Sirius asked, slipping into the role of professional manager now. </p><p>Harry looked over his shoulder at Draco, who was staring down at his phone with a frown on his face. He wasn’t even sure he was listening.</p><p>“We both agreed not to comment on it, and it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. The people know what they know, but they don’t need to know more. The boys know now, though. Was about time, I suppose.” Harry shrugged. “If you have any way of going after that bloody photographer, though, please do. I suspect Skeeter had her hands in this.” </p><p>Sirius nodded. “I’ll see what we can do. I’m gonna talk to the hotel management, and Google is likely going to want to have this sorted, too.”</p><p>Harry gave him a tight but grateful smile. </p><p>“Thanks.” </p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Sirius left soon after, leaving a tension filled sort of silence behind. Draco was still staring down at his phone, typing away. </p><p>“What are you doing?” Harry asked, just slightly irritated. </p><p>“Replying to people on Twitter,” Draco answered without looking up.</p><p>“What? But I thought—”</p><p>“There is more I have to deal with, Harry. No one knew I wasn’t straight. I had a girlfriend! There are very few people surprised about you, your fans are calling you a queer icon. It’s me everyone is talking about.” </p><p>Harry leaned back against the headboard and grabbed his phone from the night stand. </p><p>“Alright, okay. What are you telling them?” </p><p>“The truth.”</p><p>Harry stared.</p><p>Draco caught his gaze and rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Not about us. Though to be honest some of their theories are very close to the truth. I’m just talking about me, though.” </p><p>Harry opened Twitter and went to Draco’s profile, spending a moment looking at his black and white icon. </p><p>“Your hair was great there,” he mumbled, not expecting Draco to react to the compliment.</p><p>He clicked on ‘tweets and replies’ instead. Draco had answered a few basic questions so far.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @dracomalfoy so are you gay? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> @sunkissedhp what do you think?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @dracomalfoy do you still like women?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> @thatpotterboy yes  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @dracomalfoy but you like men too? or just harry?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> @lovabledrarry i don’t have any preferences, i just like whoever i like  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @dracomalfoy were you planning on coming out or did that pap do you rly dirty  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> @dracosguitar not yet, and not like this. fuck that pap.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m proud of you, Dray,” Harry said honestly, looking over at Draco, who scoffed softly.</p><p>“This fucking sucks. I wasn’t ready.”</p><p>Softening his gaze, Harry reached over to squeeze Draco’s hand. </p><p>“I know, but you’re handling it really well.” </p><p>Draco shrugged.</p><p>“I don’t know. I’m ignoring my family. My Mum’s tried to call me five times already. I just can’t deal with them right now, my<em> father </em>… Aside from him, I know they won’t be mean about it, but right now I can’t even deal with the slightest bit of underlying disappointment.” </p><p>Harry still had his hand on Draco’s, so he gave it another gentle squeeze. </p><p>“You should talk to them when you feel ready. It’s not fair that it was forced on you like this, and I’m sorry for being part of it. We should’ve been more careful.”</p><p>“Yeah, well. Like you said, nothing we can do about it now.” </p><p>Harry nodded and took his hand back, focussing back on his phone. He took a quick look at his mentions; Draco was right. People congratulated him (for what, he wasn’t sure), thanked him, and celebrated him. There were only a few haters that were easy enough to ignore. But no one was asking him the questions they were asking Draco. </p><p>Still, he felt the rare need to tweet <em> something, </em>to at least acknowledge the thing and not let Draco be skid around mid air by all the attention alone.</p><p>He looked at his new, stupid lyrics tattoo for a moment, then started typing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I kissed him once, I kissed him twice,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And made my peace, we’ll be alright.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Feeling clever, he closed out of the app again and tossed his phone to the side.</p><p>“You do know that this stupid tattoo will forever remind me of sucking your dick?” he commented, holding his arm out.</p><p>Draco laughed.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“The whole fucking song is about you, and you tattooed it onto me after I just finished sucking you off, because our drunk brains thought it was clever and funny. There is literally no other association I could ever have with it.” </p><p>Draco straight up cackled now, like a witch brewing an evil potion.  </p><p>“And that’s a bad thing how?” </p><p><em> A load of different reasons, actually, </em> Harry thought, <em> starting with ‘i just don’t think we’re good for each other, harry’ and ‘it’s just too late’ and ending with ‘we aren’t together’. </em>He didn’t say any of it, though, so to not disrupt their playful banter. Their peace with each other and their relationship were fragile enough, even without their new found public situation. Instead, Harry shoved him playfully and rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I am going to get my revenge for this, Malfoy. Maybe I should just tattoo my actual dick on you.” </p><p>Draco snorted. </p><p>“Except you can’t tattoo for shit.”</p><p>Harry shrugged, a smirk dancing around his lips.</p><p>“I’ll learn. Besides, who said it has to be good?”</p><p>“Well that would be quite rude of you, Potter, considering yours are quality works.”</p><p>“Never complained before, anyway,” Harry said, leaning across the bed to snatch the duvet away from Draco. He reached out and let his fingers ghost over the “<em> Imagine what we could do… </em>” tattoo he’d put there once upon a time, a touch barely even there. Draco shivered. </p><p>“Well. Never fucking doubt there were times when I would’ve let you tattoo your dick on me in a heartbeat if you had asked… And got me drunk or high before, maybe.” </p><p>Harry grinned. </p><p>“You were a goner for me, absolutely head over heels, and you knew it too well?” he quoted Draco’s own song.</p><p>Draco gave a lopsided smile that quickly turned from light hearted into something sad, and then he averted his eyes and picked at the bedsheet.</p><p>“Yeah,” he said quietly. </p><p>Harry hummed, suddenly feeling sad, too, as if Draco’s sadness was infectious. It probably was, much like his smile, or his laugh. Inescapable. </p><p>“Well. That makes two of us then. I was a goner for you too, and I knew I wasn’t the center of your universe, but I drank up your love like it was a spring in the desert,” Harry sang the words more than he spoke them, quoting his own lyrics this time, the ones he’d given away to another singer, because they’d hurt him too much, and only bringing them back for his first solo tour. He’d felt like it was something he had to do in an attempt to finally get some closure. </p><p>“Come on, Potter,” Draco said, the smile back. Sort of.  “Stop quoting both of our miserable fucking songs at me.” </p><p>“It’s true, though.” Harry returned the smile, going along with the rollercoaster of emotions that was this day; or rather, the last two days. </p><p>There was a pause, tension building up between them and weighing down on Harry’s shoulders. </p><p>“I never wrote a million fucking songs about either of them,” Draco said, staring at the wall ahead. “A few. Never that number, though, because they never had that impact. Pansy, Astoria… I loved them. I did. But neither of them ever drove me fucking insane. They weren’t you. Evidently that’s the reason why I never fucking managed to stay faithful either. So I guess it’s only natural that you were the reason both of those relationships ended. The latest, in fact, just this morning.” Draco snorted at himself, shaking his head, and finally turned back to face Harry. “What am I gonna do with you, huh, Potter?” </p><p>Harry looked down at Draco’s half hard, exposed dick and then back at his face, humming, realising once again just how fucked up they were. Not sure what else to do, and all self control long out the window anyway, Harry rolled over and threw one leg across Draco, sitting up and straddling his hips. </p><p>“Well, I’ve got a bad idea or two,” he said, voice low, as he leaned down, his lips ghosting over Draco’s. </p><p>Draco let out a shaky sigh, a small noise of surrender almost, and then caught them in a kiss. Harry moaned into his mouth, kissing him back softly as he ran a hand down his side, making Draco shiver beneath his finger tips. </p><p>Where they were angry earlier, they were soft now, gentle. Harry took his time kissing Draco deeply, before moving down his neck, softly sucking a bruise into the skin above his snake tattoo, just like Draco had done to him earlier. Then he moved on further down, kissing the tattoos on his chest, taking a moment to suck his nipple between his teeth, making Draco hiss. </p><p>He left a wet trail down Draco’s body until he finally reached his destination. Draco’s now hard cock all but popped into his face, and Harry poked his tongue out, just playing with it for a moment, before grabbing the base and guiding it into his mouth as far as he could take him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> No taste quite as sweet as his…  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He moved his head up and down for a little while, sucking and licking while Draco made rather obscene noises from above, reaching down and pulling his hair, holding him in place. </p><p>Harry brought a hand up to squeeze Draco’s balls, and then let his finger ghost over the sensitive area beneath. </p><p>Draco inhaled sharply.</p><p>“FUCK!” </p><p>Harry let Draco’s dick slip out of his mouth and looked up at him, wiping at his mouth.</p><p>“I’ll take that as a yes?”</p><p>“Fuck, yes. Please.” </p><p>Harry nodded and reached for the lube they had discarded at the foot of the bed earlier, quickly coating his fingers. He teased at first, before slowly, softly pushing in, one finger at first, taking his time. It had been so long, and it was so good to do this again, to watch the way Draco all but came apart beneath his touch. </p><p>He added a second finger, curling them up just right, making Draco arch his back and yell his name. Good. </p><p>Then he added a third, making sure Draco was well prepared.</p><p>“Condom?” he asked, looking around, but not being able to locate one. </p><p>“Harry…” Draco moaned a little, pupils blown wide. “Fuck! Black suitcase, middle section.” </p><p>Harry quickly got up to retrieve the desired object, thankfully finding it right away. He got rid of his, well, Draco’s underwear on his way back to the bed, then crawled back on it and positioned himself above Draco, ripping open the condom wrapper and rolling it on in a smooth series of movements. He made sure to put enough lube on himself, looking Draco in the eyes while doing so. Draco smiled at him, lovingly almost, and Harry couldn’t help leaning down and kissing him deeply, affectionately. They were well lined up that way, pressed close together, and Harry reached down to guide himself inside, making Draco gasp a little at the initial burn. He reached around Draco’s torso, making him arch a little so he could put his forearms underneath him, and he pressed them as close together as it was physically possible. Draco’s arms came around him too, wrapping him into a tight embrace. It felt even more intimate that way, holding onto each other like that while Harry was slowly pushing in and out of Draco, both of them moaning into each other’s necks. When he felt his arms going numb after a while, he urged Draco to arch his back again so Harry could use his hands to intertwine their fingers instead, resting them on each side of Draco’s head. </p><p>He smiled down at Draco, their faces aligned again, and Draco smiled back, tongue poking out between his teeth. He was so damn beautiful, and damn it all, Harry was so in love with him. It was a realisation so powerful that Harry had to kiss Draco to hide the sudden tears in his eyes. </p><p>And he came, just like that, moaning loudly into Draco’s mouth and creating enough friction between them with his jerky hip movements as he rode out his orgasm that Draco followed right after. </p><p>Harry pulled out but stayed close, holding tightly onto Draco and burying his face in his neck. The tears were still there, and it was almost inevitable that an involuntary sob escaped him, shaking through his body. And then he was crying into Draco’s neck, right after sex, as you do.</p><p>Draco’s hands came up to hold him, one between his shoulder blades, the other cradling the back of his head.</p><p>“Harry, hey, are you okay? What’s wrong?”</p><p>There was a long pause before Harry said anything as he was just crying into Draco’s neck like the pathetic loser he was, grabbing at him and wishing he would never have to let him go again.</p><p>“I just… I love you so much, Draco. It hurts me. And I don’t think I can ever stop,” he mumbled into his neck. </p><p>Draco sighed deeply, and pressed a kiss to the side of Harry’s head. </p><p>“I love you, too,” he whispered, “God, so much. And that feels like the beginning and the end of everything.” </p><p>Harry felt himself drift off to sleep soon after, still exhausted from the night before and the turbulent morning, the hangover still pretty much present. </p><p>Faintly, he thought he could hear Draco say, “It’s too much, though, Harry, it’s always been too much.” </p><p>But he couldn’t be sure. </p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p> </p><p>Harry woke hours later, still nestled firmly on top of Draco, who was snoring adorably, head buried in his hair. He sighed, realising that he felt a lot less hungover now, but also a lot more uncomfortable. He was painfully aware of the dried jizz between their stomachs and the come-filled condom on his soft dick. He tried to roll off Draco without waking him, but the sticky mess between them made it feel a bit like ripping off a bandaid, only less painful, and Draco stirred, slowly opening his eyes. </p><p>“Hi,” Harry said, smiling softly.</p><p>Draco blinked, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Hi.” </p><p>“I feel disgusting. I really need a shower, and also, I’m starving.” To underline that statement, Harry’s stomach decided to growl at that exact moment. “Literally. Uhm… I should probably go. Take a shower, get some fresh clothes. Maybe get some room service after, as I don’t particularly fancy dealing with people today.” </p><p>Draco nodded, but didn’t say anything, so Harry leaned over to kiss his cheek in an attempt to ease the sudden awkwardness. </p><p>“You wanna come over in like half an hour? That’ll give me enough time to freshen up, and we can get food and watch a movie or something.” </p><p>Draco sighed, an almost pained expression on his face. Harry felt a knot forming in his throat. </p><p>“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Harry,” Draco said, and Harry looked at him, suddenly feeling the entire weight of the world on his shoulders. </p><p>“Come on, Dray,” he said quietly, reaching for his phone to look at the time, “It’s 6 pm, and we have spent the entire day together. We fucked twice. A few more hours won’t make a difference and I just really don’t wanna be alone today.” </p><p>Harry knew he would get himself into a funk the moment he was left alone; which would happen eventually, inevitably, but if he could somehow postpone it, he would. </p><p>Draco hummed, absentmindedly reaching out to run his fingers through Harry’s hair, pushing the growing curls behind his ear. </p><p>Then he let out a defeated sort of laugh and Harry knew he had won.  </p><p>“You’re right. Let’s just— Fuck it. For now.” </p><p>“Let’s just fuck for now?” Harry asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Draco smacked his arm. </p><p>“Yes, I expect you to be naked and ready when I come over.” The accompanying smirk was almost too much for Harry to handle.</p><p>“Don’t joke about something you don’t actually want to happen, or it just might happen.” </p><p>Draco giggled, tongue poking out between his teeth. </p><p>“Can’t say I would mind.” </p><p>And that was just enough. Harry leaned down and kissed him soundly, tongue licking over Draco’s lips and then into his mouth, savouring his taste. He wasn’t sure how much longer he would be allowed to kiss him like that, the last 3 years still hanging over their heads like a dark cloud. He almost crawled back on top of Draco, but then faintly remembered how uncomfortable he actually was and pulled back with one last peck on Draco’s lips. </p><p>Then he quickly got up and finally got rid of the condom, ironically tossing it in the bin right on top of his own puke, before he started searching for his clothes from the night before, pulling on his wrinkled trousers without underwear and the white button up that was still slightly damp from their pool adventure. He left it unbuttoned and grabbed his suit jacket from the small couch in front of the bed, his phone from the nightstand, and his shoes off the floor. </p><p>“Don’t miss me too much,” he told Draco, sending a grin his way, before heading out, hoping he wouldn’t run into anyone on the way to his own room down the hall. </p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Of course he had no such luck. He was just about to open his door when he heard Lily’s voice behind him. <em> Shit </em>. Why did she have to come up to her room the moment Harry tried to sneak back to his? </p><p>“Harry, love, there you are!” </p><p>“Fuck!” He almost jumped out of his skin and dropped his key card, making sure to wrap his shirt around him when he bent down to pick it up so she wouldn’t notice the dried jizz on his exposed chest. He was a disgusting human being, really. </p><p>“I’ve been worried about you all day. Sirius said you’re fine but you didn’t open your door or answer your phone...” </p><p>She paused, taking in his appearance, frowning a little. He knew he probably looked terrible in his damp wrinkly clothes from last night, not even put on properly, shoes in his hand and suit jacket hanging over his arm. He didn’t even want to know what his hair looked like, or the circles under his eyes. </p><p>“Are you okay, honey?” </p><p>He cleared his throat, free arm wrapped around his waist to keep his shirt from falling open.</p><p>“Uhm, yeah, Mum. I’m fine. I just—”</p><p>“You were with Draco all day, weren’t you?” </p><p>Harry swallowed. There was no point in lying, it was obvious anyway.</p><p>“Yes,” he said, biting his lip. </p><p>She smiled softly, reaching out to squeeze his arm.</p><p>“So I’m asking again, are you okay, honey?” </p><p>Harry sighed. He wasn’t sure he was, or would be, but if he could avoid thinking about it for now, he would.</p><p>“Probably not,” he admitted, “It’s a whole mess, Mum. Everyone knows.” </p><p>Lily patted his arm, the look in her eyes as sympathetic as ever.</p><p>“I know, love. But I know you’ll be fine, you’ve always been so good with the public. I’m worried about your heart, though, and the situation you were put in doesn't make that any easier.” </p><p>Another thing Harry didn’t want to talk about. Draco had made it pretty clear that he wasn’t up for another attempt at their relationship, that he didn’t think they were good for each other. But he had also said they could never be platonic friends, which he probably wasn’t wrong about either. So that meant that Draco would most likely leave him again, and soon, and Harry wasn’t sure if he could take that. The first time had broken him, he was sure the second time would just shred him into tiny pieces, irreparable. </p><p>“I’ll be fine, Mum,” he lied. Lily didn’t look convinced.</p><p>“Okay,” she said anyway. “You live your own life, and I respect that. You need to make your own decisions. But whenever you need me, I’ll be there, and I hope you know that.” </p><p>Harry felt a little warm, suddenly. </p><p>“Thanks, Mum. I know.”</p><p>“You didn’t last time, though, and I do wish you had let me help pick up the pieces. You’ll always be my baby and the thought of you being hurt and suffering without me even knowing about it hurts me more than anything.” </p><p>Harry nodded, feeling the urge to hug her but being painfully aware of why he kept his shirt wrapped so tightly around him. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I just… couldn’t, at the time. But it’s different now. And would give you a hug but I’m kinda unwashed and I really need a shower,” he said, cheeks heating a little. He knew he was blushing, as if there was any way for her to know what exactly he meant by that.</p><p>Lily just looked amused. Bless her heart.</p><p>She probably had a hunch.</p><p>“It’s fine, honey. You go take your shower, and get some rest. Maybe put some Arnica on that bruise,” she told him, tapping against her own neck and Harry’s hand flew up to cover the hickey Draco had most likely left there. He flushed a deep shade of red now, he was sure.</p><p>“Thanks, Mum,” he croaked, and Lily had the audacity to chuckle to herself.</p><p>Harry glared at her, and finally made to open his door. He waved, and then finally, finally slipped inside his room, closing the door behind him. </p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p> </p><p>20 minutes later, Harry sat on his bed in a fresh pair of black boxer shorts, leaning against the headboard, hair damp, feeling a lot more comfortable than he had ever since he had thrown up that morning. He was scrolling through his phone, looking at all the messages he had ignored so far; Oliver, Ron, Cho, Dudley, Luna, Ginny, Justin, even his ex, one Fleur Delacour, and some old friends from school had texted him, most of them in caps lock, some just quietly asking if he was okay. Even Ron had thought this was a text worthy moment, and that meant something because Ronald Weasley didn’t text. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ron: you should write a song about this  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry smiled at that. Ron had a way of being pragmatically funny in even the shittiest of situations.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: i should  </em>
</p><p><em> Harry: maybe start composing music for it, we definitely need some dramatic guitar riffs for that one </em> </p><p> </p><p>Fleur’s text was less lighthearted and more awkward.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>F. Delacour: LOL, you serious?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t even bother replying. It wasn’t like he and Fleur had any existent relationship at this point in time. He suddenly remembered that she and Draco had made a song together once, and he chuckled at the idea of them hating him together, both having him in mind without the other even knowing. He was a sadist like that sometimes. Plus, they had both broken his heart, too, so it was only fair. </p><p>He replied to a few more texts and stupidly opened Twitter to see #DrarryIsReal still trending at number one. There were more pictures of them sitting by the pool now, of Draco shoving him in, of them being silly together, one of Harry kissing Draco’s nose. Adorable. They looked adorable. They didn’t just look hot and caught up in a drunken hook up. They looked like they were in love, ridiculously so. And the video Rita had posted of them singing <em> Inferno </em> at each other was now also being spread around, driving the discussions even wilder. </p><p>Of course people wanted to know if this was a new development or if they had been together in secret for a long time, whether or not it had to do with Draco’s departure from the band, and if it explained the cold distance and the way they had talked about each other in the years since Diagon Ally broke up. They wanted to know if they were in a relationship now or if it was just a drunken hookup after all.</p><p>Harry hated a little how close to the truth a lot of them actually were with their theories. </p><p>He skimmed through the tweets and articles in his mentions, all of them  blurring together in his head. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Diagon Alley </em>
</p><p><b> <em>Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy caught sharing hot kisses in a pool in Sicily. </em> </b> <em> Click to see the exclusive pictures.  </em></p><p> </p><p><b> <em>Are Former Diagon Alley Stars Harry Potter And Draco Malfoy In Love?</em> </b> </p><p> </p><p><em> “We were never really friends while we were in the band,” Draco Malfoy told the press less than a year ago. Now he and former bandmate Harry Potter were caught kissing shirtless in a pool in Italy. Were they simply </em> <em> more </em> <em> than friends when Diagon Alley took over a million teenager hearts across the globe?  </em></p><p> </p><p><b> <em>Gayagon Alley?</em> </b> </p><p><em> Fans have been speculating about a secret gay relationship between some of the Diagon Alley boys for years. In the center of all speculation has always been a potential relationship between front man Harry Potter and bandmate Cedric Diggory. Now pictures have been released, showing none other than Harry Potter and </em> Draco Malfoy <em> sharing an intimate moment in a hotel pool.  </em></p><p> </p><p><b> <em>Are Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter Gay?</em> </b> <em>   Click now to find out.  </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> After 3 years of radio silence, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were spotted being more than friendly with each other in Sicily, sharing hot kisses while attending a Google event under the Mediterranean sun.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @Harry_Potter are you in love with Draco? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @Harry_Potter did Draco leave because of you?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> man, @Harry_Potter is a gay icon, i’ve said this for years. i just didn’t know @dracomalfoy was one too  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @Harry_Potter @dracomalfoy you guys should get married  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> what kind of fanfiction shit is this thing between @Harry_Potter and @dracomalfoy?????? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Harry Potter Confirms Gay Rumours About Him and Draco Malfoy By Tweeting His Own Song Lyrics </em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @Harry_Potter I used to like you and your music but ew. Why Draco?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Drarry Is Real But At What Cost?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco Malfoy: “Fuck that pap.” He and his former bandmate H— </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry groaned and threw his phone to the side. He knew he would be bombarded with a million questions about this for months, if not years. His relationship with Draco would be all people wanted to hear about from him for a while, and there would be no escaping it. He just wished he could give them a clear answer, but the truth was that he didn’t know anything. And Draco didn’t want to be with him. So what was he supposed to say anyway? </p><p> </p><p>Thinking of Draco, he picked his phone back up to look at the time. It had been almost an hour since he’d left Draco’s room. He frowned. Maybe Draco had fallen asleep again? There was another explanation he dreaded to even think about just yet, so he pushed it aside and grabbed his notebook from the nightstand instead to scribble down some of the mess that was his thoughts. Maybe Ron was right and he should actually write a song about the whole drama. </p><p>He wasn’t sure how much time he spent just bringing his stream of consciousness down onto paper, trying to bring some order to the mess in a bit of a futile attempt, because when he looked up again, hand hurting, he found that he was still confused. And his stomach was growling violently. And Draco still wasn’t here.</p><p>More than two hours now. Harry felt the dread building up in his stomach, making him feel queasy, so he got up from the bed, put on some swimming shorts he’d discarded on the floor at some point, and a hoodie, before heading out of the room and down the hallway. </p><p>He saw it before he even got far, but he walked past the elevator anyway, making sure it was actually Draco’s room that’s door was wide open, cleaning crew heading in and out of. Of course it was. Of course it fucking was. </p><p>Draco was gone. He’d left, again, without a single word this time. He’d lied to him, too, he’d— </p><p>“Fuck!” Harry exclaimed, punching the wall next to him. The maid coming out of Draco’s room looked up at him, a pitying look on her face. Of course she knew. </p><p>“He's gone, then?” Harry asked bitterly. </p><p>The maid nodded. “I’m sorry, Mr. Potter.” </p><p>Harry sucked in a sharp breath and fell back against the wall, feeling utterly lost and helpless all of a sudden, tears welling up in his eyes. </p><p>How could Draco just leave them like this? What was he supposed to do now? With the world now reminding him at every waking moment that he had loved and lost, over and over again? It had been bad enough the first time, when it was easy to make himself believe it didn’t happen at all, because no one had known. </p><p>Harry clenched his fists, suppressing the tears at least until he’d made it back to his room. He was about to push himself off the wall, when he heard a timid voice coming from the elevator.</p><p>“Potter?” </p><p>Harry’s head snapped up, watching Draco stepping away from the closing elevator doors. He was fully dressed, a bag slung over his shoulder. </p><p>He had definitely planned on leaving. And suddenly, Harry felt himself getting furious.</p><p>“You fucking—”</p><p>Draco raised his hands in surrender.</p><p>“Hey, I came back, okay?” </p><p>Harry narrowed his eyes.</p><p>“I hoped you wouldn’t even notice,” he added. And that was just what tipped Harry over. He walked over to him with a few quick, firm steps, hands coming up to push Draco towards his room. He wasn’t gentle or careful, making Draco stumble backwards, almost falling over. Draco barely had time to catch his balance before Harry was shoving him again. </p><p>“Harry, come on, I can walk—”</p><p>“Shut up,” Harry growled, pushing again. </p><p>“I’m sorry, okay? I thought it would make things easier if I just—”</p><p>“Just what? Left without a single word, leaving me waiting for you like a pathetic fucking loser?” Harry stepped around Draco to quickly open his door, then grabbed Draco’s arm rather aggressively, dragged him inside and slammed  the door shut. He didn’t let him get far, though, pushing him up against the door, one hand firmly planted in the middle of his chest, the other next to his head, forcing Draco to drop his bag. </p><p>“You thought that would be the perfect way to break my heart again? Just leaving me alone in the whole fucking aftermath?” He came dangerously close, voice almost a snarl, their noses almost touching. “See, I get it, Draco. You don’t want to be with me, you never really did. And that’s fine. But fucking treat me with a bit of respect for once, would you? Is that too much to ask? A fucking goodbye?” </p><p>Draco’s eyes were wide, and glistening, and Harry swallowed around the anger in his chest.</p><p>“That’s not true. Harry, you know that’s not true. Why the fuck do you think I risked everything to be with you? Why do you think I kept reaching out after I left? I wanted to give us a chance, I never wanted to leave you. But you thought I did. You wouldn’t listen to me.”</p><p>Harry pressed even closer, touching his nose to Draco’s.</p><p>“Well how the fuck was I supposed to know that? You didn’t say a fucking word. ‘I can’t do this anymore, I’m leaving, Harry, and I’m not coming back.’ What was I supposed to think? You broke me! Of course I didn’t pick up the fucking phone! I get now that I should’ve been more supportive, and I’m sorry, but that doesn’t change anything about the rest. It doesn’t change you leaving now.”</p><p>Draco sucked in a breath, hands coming up to Harry’s waist.</p><p>“We both fucked up, Harry. Which just shows that we aren’t good for each other. Look at this fucking mess! It hasn’t even been 48 hours. I can’t— I can’t go through this shit again. Every time you ignored me another part of me broke. I missed you so much, I could barely get out of bed. Don’t you get it? It’s too much, Potter. I loved you so much that it fucking broke me when we were over. I can’t risk that again. Loving this much means being at the risk of being torn to pieces, and I’m not ready to deal with the pain. Again. So it’s better to leave on my own terms before it can come to that. Again.” </p><p>Harry didn’t even know when he’d started crying, but suddenly he felt tears running down his cheeks and he reached up to wipe them away, stepping back a little. Draco was full on crying too, now, and it was all so fucked up that Harry’s heart broke right then and there. </p><p>“You aren’t alone in this, though, Dray. And there was always someone else for you. Do you have any idea what that felt like? Watching you being in a relationship with someone else for 3 years? Thinking I would never be your number one, but loving you too much to let you go? It was never supposed to be like this.” </p><p>It hadn’t been. It had been supposed to be fun, at the beginning. Making out in dark corners, finding comfort in the other, fooling around drunkenly and eventually getting off together. It had been fun, until it had become too much fun, and Harry had found himself falling harder than he ever had before, and ever since.</p><p>“I told you, Harry. None of them were ever <em> you </em>.”</p><p>“And yet you never left them for me.” </p><p>Draco let his hands drop from Harry’s waist and ran one through his hair, averting his gaze for a moment.</p><p>“Because I was fucking scared. I still am. The whole world has been talking about us all day and I— it’s awful.”</p><p>Harry let out a breath and stepped further back. </p><p>“And it was never worth it for you, was it?” </p><p>There was a moment of silence, a painful one that felt like a fist around Harry’s heart, squeezing. </p><p>“Maybe I’m just a coward.” </p><p>Harry shook his head. </p><p>“You aren’t, though. You are the least cowardly person I have ever known.” </p><p>Draco sighed, slumping back against the door. Harry looked at him, his short purple hair, the shaved sides with his silvery blond, natural hair, the sadness in his beautiful grey eyes, his cheekbones, the curve of his lips, the way he was nervously chewing on his lower lip. The light stubble accentuating his cheekbones. The way he always looked a little too pointy to be considered conventionally attractive. He was everything Harry had loved for so long. And he wasn’t sure where they were supposed to go from here; if they couldn’t be together, but neither of them could bear being apart either, what was there left? </p><p>“I always thought that was you,” Draco said quietly, “You’ve always been so bold and out there, I always felt like I could barely keep up.”</p><p>Harry kept looking at him, feeling exhaustion seeping into his bones. The last two days had been a lot, physically as well as emotionally. Harry might as well have been riding a rollercoaster on loop all day, his body close to giving out after having been thrown and shaken around so much. </p><p>So he reached out and took Draco’s hand, squeezing it with his thumb rubbing over the back of it, and then dragging him further into the room away from the door. Then he reached out to unbutton Draco’s jeans and push them down his legs, kicking his feet to make him take his shoes off. Draco looked confused, a bit wide eyed, but complied anyway. Once jeans and shoes were off, Harry ushered him towards the bed and shoved him down onto it, as gently as he could. </p><p>“Snuggle in,” he told Draco, before crawling over him and lying down next to him, dragging the duvet up to cover both of them. </p><p>Draco chuckled when Harry snuggled up to him, resting his head in the crook of his neck and wrapping an arm around his waist. </p><p>“No sex?” Draco asked, feigned disappointment audible in his voice and the underlying chuckle. </p><p>“Nah,” Harry mumbled into his neck. “‘m exhausted. Aren’t you?” </p><p>“Very. I feel like I could sleep for 20 years.” </p><p>Harry felt himself smiling a little, and he licked a wet stripe over Draco’s neck just because he could.</p><p>“Then let’s do just that,” he said, snuggling in just a little bit tighter. Draco wrapped both arms around him and held him close. </p><p>“Good plan,” he whispered into Harry’s hair, hand absentmindedly stroking his arm. </p><p>Harry hummed. </p><p>“What are we gonna do, Dray?” </p><p>Draco sighed, nudging his nose against Harry’s head.</p><p>“I don’t know. And I still hate you a little bit because of everything.” </p><p>Harry impossibly cuddled up closer. </p><p>“That’s fine, because I hate you a little bit too.” </p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Harry was woken around 3am by his own stomach rumbling violently. Of course, he still hadn’t eaten, in well over 24 hours now. </p><p>Sighing sleepily, he reached for the phone and dialled room service. He didn’t even care what they got him at this time of the night, but he was so hungry that his stomach started aching and he felt sick. </p><p>He looked over at Draco who was sleeping soundly, snoring softly. Harry smiled at him, then quickly whispered his order into the phone when someone answered. The person wasn’t exactly amused to hear from him but they were at a luxury resort and Google was paying and something Harry had learned quite quickly was that being rich usually made people extra nice to you, and that included bringing you room service at 3 am if necessary. Of course, generally, being an international pop star also didn’t hurt. Harry would make sure to give them an extra big tip. He always did. It was one of the reasons why he always carried a quite large amount of cash around. </p><p> </p><p>Harry turned to lie on his side and watch Draco while he waited for the food to arrive. Draco looked so young and carefree when he was sleeping; the tattoos and nose piercing almost outlandish on his soft features, while at the same time belonging there. He looked younger than the stubble on his cheeks would actually give away, like this. Harry couldn’t help thinking that he wouldn’t mind looking at him every morning for the rest of his life, and that was such a dangerous thought to have. So dangerous, in fact, that Harry forced himself to turn away and grab his phone instead. Another mistake, he realised quickly when he opened Twitter. Cedric had tweeted.</p><p> </p><p><em>Well, now</em> <em>you all know it wasn’t me who was f*cking Harry.</em></p><p> </p><p>Fucking idiot. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @Cedric_Diggory does that mean Harry and Draco were together during DA? </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> @flowerypotter apparently. </em> </p><p> </p><p>Harry rolled his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @Cedric_Diggory well damn i actually thought harry had better taste  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> @windyroofcedie lol  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sighing deeply, Harry switched over to WhatsApp. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: Why are you so bitter, Cedric? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was 3 am but Harry wasn’t surprised when he saw the three dots indicating that Cedric was typing. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: i’m not bitter  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: your twitter account tells a different story  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: what are you even doing up at 3 am, just finished fucking Draco or what?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: crude and none of your business  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: but no. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: aw did he leave you again already?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: he didn’t, actually. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry knew he shouldn’t play into it, but he couldn’t help it. Cedric was so smug, and Harry was so annoyed at him. They had been so close, once upon a time. And now there was just bitterness and awkward silences. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: case in point though, mate  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: What’s your problem? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: you two fucked up the band with your stupid fucking shit is my problem  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: I’m sorry, Ced. It wasn’t like that, and it wasn’t stupid fucking shit  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry hesitated<em> . </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: we shouldn’t have snuck around behind your guys’ backs and for that I am sorry but Draco told you it wasn’t the reason he left and that’s true  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: things still went to shit between you two </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: and what was i supposed to do about it? which side was i supposed to be on, when i didn’t even know what the fuck was going on?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: you weren’t supposed to pick anyone’s side.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: and we both know that’s not why you distanced yourself from me anyway  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: you never forgave me for suggesting the breakup </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: well i’m just not like you  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: like me, what?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: people always loved you, praised you. it’s like you were born for this. I was so popular in school but in the band… i never felt like i could quite live up to you  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: I never asked for any of that.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ced: I know. Still…  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: we should talk  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ced: like, in person. soon.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: I think that’s a good idea  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>There was a knock on the door<em> . </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: my room service is here, I’ll let you know when I’m back in London  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He tossed his phone to the side and got up to answer the door, happily letting the young, dark haired man wheel the huge tray of food inside. </p><p>“Have a good night, Sir,” he said politely once he’d arranged everything. He looked tired, but still forced a smile onto his face. Harry thought he couldn’t be older than him. </p><p>“Wait,” Harry said and grabbed his wallet from the nightstand, blindly reaching in and handing the guy some cash. </p><p>“Sir! I can’t possibly—” the guy, Giuliano, Harry read on his name tag, gasped after a moment of silence, staring at the stack of cash in his hand. </p><p>“It’s fine. It’s late and I know I’m being a burden, so please take it.” </p><p>Giuliano stared at him, dumbfounded. Then, suddenly, he started sobbing. Harry blinked.</p><p>“Harry— Mr Potter, I’m— I’m sorry. This is going to pay for my tuition next semester and I wasn’t sure I could get the money in time, this job pays well but— I don’t know how to thank you,” Giuliano rambled, and Harry opened his arms, sensing that the man needed a hug. Giuliano stepped into his arms and squeezed tightly, at least a dozen more “thank you”s falling from his lips. Sometimes Harry forgot how hard it could be for most people; even just getting by, paying for their tuition or putting food on the table, while he had more in his bank accounts than he could ever use. </p><p>“How much is your tuition?” Harry asked as he stepped away. </p><p>“1000€ per semester, Sir.” </p><p>Harry frowned. He remembered how much money that could be, and it was crazy to him how little it was for him now. He’d given the man a 1000€ tip and hadn’t even realised or cared. </p><p>“What do you study?” he asked, genuinely wanting to know.</p><p>“Medicine, Sir. I’m hoping to become a pediatrician,” Giuliano told him with a smile, and Harry reached back for his wallet to pull out the remaining cash. </p><p>“Take all of it, will you? It should pay for at least one more semester,” he said, and Giuliano stared at him, dumbfounded. </p><p>“Are you serious?” </p><p>Harry nodded, smiling softly.</p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“I can’t possibly take this, Sir, it’s too much!” Giuliano said, eyes wide, but tightly holding onto the money. </p><p>“I have too much, you have too little. Just take it. Please?” Harry told him, voice soft and calm. He was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that he was standing in a hotel room at 3 am in his boxers, handing out cash to a hotel employee while his former bandmate was still fast asleep in his bed. </p><p>“Sir, Harry, Mr Potter, I—” </p><p>“Harry is fine,” Harry reassured with a smile.</p><p>“Harry,” Giuliano nodded, “I don’t know how to thank you. You have a kind heart, and I’m sorry people are making life so hard on you.” He glanced over to Draco, who was snoring softly into a pillow. “I will be at your next show in Italy, cheering you on, and I will fight everyone who says just one negative word about you.” </p><p>Giuliano had a determined look on his face and Harry didn’t doubt his words for a second. </p><p>“That’s very sweet, Giuliano. Thank you. You don’t have to spend money on me, but I will be honoured to see you in the crowd.” </p><p>Giuliano left with a slight bow of his head and a “good night, Sir”, and Harry quickly grabbed the plate filled with pasta from the tray before flopping back down onto the bed, back against the headboard. He was <em> starving </em>. </p><p>“You’re way too fucking good for this world, Harry Potter,” a voice said beside him and he almost dropped the plate onto his lap.</p><p>“Jesus fuck, Draco! Way to startle a man.” </p><p>Draco chuckled. “Sorry. Seriously though, I know exactly two people who would just hand out two grand to a hotel employee in the middle of the night to help pay for his tuition, and one of them is you. The other is Harry Styles. What do you wanna bet this exact employee also got his tuition paid for by the other ridiculous Harry in this hotel.” </p><p>Harry shrugged, eyes focused on his pasta.</p><p>“He needed help, and we both know it doesn’t hurt me. Or Harry Styles,” he added. He really should try befriending the other singer better. </p><p>“You don’t even think about this stuff, you just do it. It’s like it’s just ingrained in your nature. Too fucking good.” </p><p>Draco sat up next to him and leaned in, pressing a kiss to his shoulder and making Harry shiver.</p><p>“Ugh, that smells amazing,” he said, sniffing.</p><p>“And that’s a bad thing how?” Harry asked, bringing the fork up to let Draco have a bite. </p><p>Moaning around it as he chewed and swallowed, Draco shook his head. </p><p>“It’s not. It’s a wonderful thing. Just makes my life ten times more fucking difficult.” </p><p>Harry felt his heart squeeze in his chest. </p><p>“How?” he asked softly, even though he already knew.</p><p>Draco chuckled and shook his head again, before leaning in and connecting their lips in a quick, chaste kiss. </p><p>“Shut up and eat your noodles, Potter.” </p><p>They sat in silence for a while, Draco’s head resting on Harry’s shoulder and fishing for bites of his food every now and then while Harry was eating. It was peaceful, comfortable silence; the kind they’d shared so often during their years in the band. </p><p>“Do you wanna shake the world a bit more?” Draco asked eventually. </p><p>Harry glanced down at him. “Huh?” </p><p>“Give me your phone.” </p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Will you just?” </p><p>Harry sighed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand, putting his empty plate there instead, and handing it to Draco, who had no issues unlocking it. Harry had never changed his passcode. </p><p>“You remember my passcode?”</p><p>Draco snorted. “It’s extremely difficult to forget anything about you, Potter.”</p><p>He rested his head back on Harry’s shoulder and held the phone up in the air, camera on. </p><p>“Smile!” he said, and Harry sighed but complied. Draco took a couple of pictures, including one where they both just squished their faces together with their eyes closed. Harry was still shirtless, and he was pretty sure his hickey was blooming brightly on his neck, as was Draco’s. </p><p>Then Draco opened Instagram, and Harry felt a bit of a panic wash over him. </p><p>“What’re you doing?”</p><p>“Putting them in your story,” Draco told him casually and Harry was quick to snatch the phone back.</p><p>“Are you insane?” </p><p>“Come on, Potter. Let’s goad them a little. They’re talking about us anyway and this way we stay in control.” </p><p>Harry stared at him and couldn’t quite believe that he actually thought Draco’s words made sense. They did, though. Once upon a time Harry had leaked his own nudes for the same reason. </p><p>He shook his head and handed the phone back to Draco.</p><p>“Fine. I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this, but fine.” </p><p>“Have you ever even posted an Instagram story?” Draco asked as he uploaded a bunch of the selfies he’d taken. </p><p>“No.” Harry posted a few life updates on Instagram every once in awhile, but he wasn’t much of a Social Media dweller, really. </p><p>“Oh, that makes it even better, then. The world is going to be so shaken and confused.”</p><p>Harry couldn’t help laughing at that. Draco sounded like an evil mastermind. </p><p>“How are you even okay with this, you freaked out all day.”</p><p>Draco stayed focussed on the phone, fingers moving smoothly in what looked like a memorised motion. </p><p>“Everyone knows anyway and they won’t stop asking questions, whether I like it or not, so who cares what they think. I just like screwing with them.” </p><p>Harry looked at him intently.</p><p>“So you don’t care that they’re definitely gonna think we’re together now? And that we just fucked, probably?” </p><p>Draco finally met his eyes again and handed him his phone back.</p><p>“No.” </p><p>Harry let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding and shook his head. Draco was a riddle in so many ways. He liked provoking by getting the attention he so absolutely despised. </p><p>“For fuck’s sake, Dray,” he sighed fondly, pushing himself up to crawl onto Draco’s lap and straddle his hips. He leaned in to kiss him, slowly, licking into his mouth like it belonged to him, one hand coming up to the side of his head. Draco hummed into it and kissed back, softly sucking on Harry’s bottom lip. </p><p>“Now, let’s witness the meltdown?” Harry said when he pulled back, laughing softly when he noticed the pout on Draco’s lips. He gave him one last peck on the lips, then turned his attention to his phone.</p><p>“Oh yes, there we go. <em> Harry Potter posts juicy selfies of him and ex-bandmate Draco Malfoy in bed. Earlier today, pictures of them sharing hot kisses in a hotel pool in Italy had surfaced. Looks like there is a new dream couple in town, much to the chagrin of millions of ladies and gentlemen out there (including myself),” </em>he read dramatically, squirming under Draco poking his sides. </p><p>“We’re trending again. Or still, I guess,” he told him, “Stop poking me!” </p><p>Narrowing his eyes at Draco, he looked back at his phone and quickly typed a new tweet.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tell @dracomalfoy to stop poking me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Nice, Potter,” Draco said, “Keep firing them up.” </p><p>Harry tossed his phone to the side and leaned forward, both hands against the headboard next to each side of Draco’s head. </p><p>“I’m gonna fire you up, Malfoy. You did this on purpose.”</p><p>Draco laughed. “I didn’t, but now that we can’t change what’s out there anyway it’s kind of fun to mess with them, don’t you think?” </p><p>Harry hummed, leaning in closer. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, touching his forehead to Draco’s. There was a brief, dark laugh bubbling up in his chest, dry and almost hysterical at the same time.</p><p>“What a fucked up mess,” he whispered, and then he kissed Draco, softly at first, tentatively, before pressing closer and licking over his lips, moaning when Draco let him in and met him with his own tongue. </p><p>He went slowly, taking his time, chuckling softly when he peeled off Draco’s T-shirt and tossed it to the side. Draco shuddered under his fingertips when their skin touched and Harry hugged him close, their bare chests pressed together. </p><p>Humming contently, he pulled back after a long moment, fingers tracing the ink on Draco’s skin. He stopped at Astoria’s name on his chest, frowning. It was a bit unnerving, the way the letters were staring back at him, and Harry felt guilt wash over him. </p><p>“Bit weird, that. Not gonna lie. Why’d you get it?” </p><p>Draco averted his eyes for a moment, dropping his hands from Harry’s sides.</p><p>“I don’t know. I loved her, I wanted it to last. Somehow I thought it would make the stakes higher, probably. I thought it would last forever this time, that she… belonged to me, and I to her. I didn’t think it would change, not if I could avoid it, even though we were hanging by a thin thread. But then…” Draco looked back up. “You waltzed back into my life and now I have a tattoo to cover up.”</p><p>Harry looked at him for a moment, and then another, hands coming up to cup his face, fingertips tracing his cheekbones. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, voice low and raspy. </p><p>Draco sighed.</p><p>“It was inevitable, wasn’t it? You can only run for so long until you start running in circles.” </p><p>Harry bit his lip and nodded, a grin forming.</p><p>“You should write that down, would make some brilliant lyrics.” </p><p>Draco grinned back at him, a challenge gleaming in his eyes.</p><p>“All my lyrics are fucking brilliant,” he said.</p><p>Harry leaned in and brushed his lips against his. </p><p>“Can’t argue with that.”</p><p>He pressed closer again, kissing Draco like his lips were oxygen. Maybe they were, for him.</p><p>Their slow pace continued on, their remaining clothes eventually landing on the floor next to the bed. Their touches were soft and gentle, loving, their kisses deep and longing. </p><p>Harry wrapped his large hand around them both when he felt like he might as well combust with want, keeping an excruciatingly slow pace as he jerked them off together, panting against Draco’s neck. </p><p>Draco moaned obscenely, hands coming down to cup his ass, squeezing tightly and making Harry go just a bit faster. </p><p>“Fuck, Harry,” Draco breathed more than he spoke and Harry pushed himself up on his elbows so he could connect their lips, softly sucking on Draco’s bottom lip as he squeezed and tugged at their throbbing cocks, the friction between them almost too good to be real. </p><p>“Fuck!” Harry cursed louder than he probably should, given that his Mum had the suite right next to his. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time she accidentally got to overhear his sex noises. Not that he was particularly keen on repeating it. </p><p>Pushing the thought aside, Harry kissed Draco deeply, revelling in the feeling of his stubble rubbing against his chin. It had been three years too long since he’d last had this, and knowing well enough he would lose it again soon made him want to absorb it all and keep it safe in his memories forever. </p><p>Draco came first, moaning into Harry’s neck as the orgasm hit him. His ecstatic jerks were enough to send Harry over the edge as well and he wrapped his arms around Draco’s arching torso, holding on tight and biting down onto his shoulder to keep himself from moaning too loudly and shouting Draco’s name so the entire hotel could hear. </p><p>When they both came down from their high, they were impossibly close, pressed together and panting into each other’s necks, and Harry just felt like crying again. He didn’t want to lose this again, not ever, not when it felt so right.</p><p>He pushed himself up and hovered above Draco so he could kiss him, softly, gently, like he was precious and needed to be adored and treated with care. </p><p>“Harry,” Draco whispered against his lips and reached up to push the sweaty curls from Harry’s forehead, fingertips tenderly brushing over the scar on his forehead and making Harry shiver as he stopped kissing him for a moment but kept their lips close together, just breathing into each other like they belonged that way. </p><p>Maybe they did. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Resolve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>That's it, the final chapter. His majesty, Harry Styles himself, makes a short appearance in this one with some actual lines. And also I kinda tried to write a song in this but the truth is I know nothing about song writing so it's more like a poem pretending to a song. Anyway. Thanks for the love so far. Enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry was tangled too tightly into the sheets when he woke up the next morning, and he groaned into his pillow, dried jizz on his stomach making him feel dirty and uncomfortable. </p><p>“Draco,” he whined, “Why didn’t we clean up last night, this is disgusting.” </p><p>No reply. Huh. Maybe Draco was still asleep. Harry turned reluctantly, kicking his feet to free himself from the duvet that had wrapped itself around him seemingly in an attempt to strangle him. He blinked his eyes open, taking a few seconds to adjust - only to find the bed next to him empty, except for a lonely piece of paper gracing the pillow Draco had slept on.</p><p>Harry knew exactly what that meant, and he hated the thought alone with a passion. He had seen it coming but it still hit him like a fucking freight train.</p><p>Sighing deeply, he grabbed the note and held it up in front of him, squinting to adjust his eyes to the bright white paper and Draco’s neat handwriting.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry. I’m sorry, I really am. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I can’t do this. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I love you, I really do, and that’s exactly why I can’t do this. I told you before, it’s just too late. I hope you can forgive me one day, just like I have forgiven you.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> xx  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> D. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry tossed the note to the side and pressed the heels of his hands over his eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath and trying so hard not to cry. His eyes were burning and his chest was feeling tight. </p><p>A tear, then another. One would think Harry was used to the feeling, he knew it so well. And yet, Draco leaving him was never something he was even remotely prepared for, not at 22, not at 25, not even at 50, probably. </p><p>“Fuck!” he cursed, and turned to hide his face in his pillow to stop himself from sobbing out loud. It had been inevitable, he’d known it was going to happen. Why had he let himself get dragged back in so thoroughly in a matter of two days? He was a fool, and had always been one for Draco Malfoy. </p><p>Drawing in a sharp breath and wiping the tears from his cheeks, Harry turned back onto his back and blindly grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He couldn’t make the same mistakes again; he couldn’t let himself fall apart the same way again. </p><p><em> I kind of really hate you </em>, he texted Draco, not really expecting a reply. He had to try, though. </p><p>He let his finger hover over the Twitter app, knowing well enough what he would find there. A shitstorm, still raging, unaware. </p><p>Draco’s reply came as a jump scare, almost making Harry drop his phone. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> can’t blame you </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry sighed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It doesn’t have to be this hard, you know? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry closed his eyes for a moment<em> , </em>willing the tears to stay in. He’d cried more than enough over Draco Malfoy to last a lifetime. </p><p> </p><p><em> i think it does </em> </p><p> </p><p>then,  </p><p> </p><p><em> I’m sorry, Harry </em> </p><p> </p><p>Anger welled up in Harry’s chest, making his fingers move faster than his brain could even think about what he was doing. Draco was being an ass, again, just leaving him like this in the aftermath of what they had done, of what had happened. It wasn’t like last time; this time, the whole world knew, and how was Harry supposed to deal with that? There would be a constant reminder <em>somewhere</em>, no escaping the questions and the gossip. A constant reminder of what he couldn’t have; all because Draco was a coward after all, or just didn’t love him enough to stay. It was probably long past time for him to accept that cold hard fact.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fuck you, Draco. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Then, </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why can’t you love me enough to stay? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He regretted the question the moment he hit send; he sounded pathetic and stupid, like he couldn’t have anyone else. But he could; he just didn’t want to. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> harry…  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> i do love you  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry snorted. Draco had already said that in his note; and in person the day before. It was hard to believe now, though. </p><p> </p><p><em> just not enough </em>, Harry typed.</p><p> </p><p>Never enough. Not enough to stay.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> that’s not it. i’m really sorry, but i’m about to board my flight. i’ll text you. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll text you,” Harry read out loud and huffed. What for anyway? He tossed his phone to the side and threw his arm over his eyes, only to draw it back again immediately. The tattoos. He’d forgotten again. As if he hadn’t had enough ink reminding him of Draco on his body before; now he had two more, a constant presence reminding him of his broken heart. Their good times, too, but in hindsight they just hurt, didn’t they? Or rather, not having them anymore, that’s what hurt. </p><p><em> You should write a song about this </em> , Ron had said. Maybe he was right. Harry hadn’t written anything for weeks after Draco had left last time; and eventually <em> Can’t Forget </em> had flown from mind to paper. Shaking his head, Harry grabbed his notebook and a pen, and just let his heart speak for him for a while. Everything to not break down again. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> When tomorrow comes  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You’ll still be gone  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And I’m still here, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The ink you left behind  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Like sad poetry on my skin  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Last night you stayed  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But every night has to end  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You taught me  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> More than anyone ever could  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> that love is pain and love is pleasure  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Now everyone can see  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sore and unveiled  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The scars you left behind  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Your kiss like a phantom on my lips  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Like a leaf in the fall </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Swaying in the wind  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Floating to the ground to wilt  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> That’s how you left me  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nothing left to hold onto  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And I’m asking myself  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Why do I love you  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Like the sun loves the moon  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Now everyone can see </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sore and unveiled  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The scars you left behind  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Your kiss like a phantom on my lips  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> We were never meant to be they said  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You and I </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Like day and night, like the sun and the moon  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But you loved me like no one could  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Like the moon loves the sun  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> and couldn’t shine without it </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I wrote songs about you  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You wrote them about me  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Pain and pleasure  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You’re my antidote, so please my love, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> please stay.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>+++</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Dinner was awkward. Harry had forced himself out of bed and into the shower, had gotten dressed and dragged his weary body down to the restaurant, where his Mum, Sirius, and Remus Lupin were already gathered around a table eating their salads, all looking up in surprise upon seeing Harry. </p><p>“Harry, love! I’m so happy to see you,” his Mum told him with a smile, reaching out to squeeze his arm as he sat down next to her.</p><p>“Where is your boyfriend?” Sirius asked casually, but Harry could physically feel the dig against him. To be fair, he really hadn’t been on his best behaviour in the last three days. </p><p>Harry glared at him.</p><p>“He’s not my boyfriend. And he… left,” Harry mumbled the last bit so quietly it was barely audible. He didn’t want to talk about it. </p><p>Lily’s hand was back on his arm in a heartbeat, squeezing comfortingly. </p><p>“Oh, Harry. I’m sorry, honey.” </p><p>Sirius sighed, his features softening when he noticed the hurt that must be written all over Harry’s face.</p><p>“What an idiot,” he growled. </p><p>Harry shrugged.</p><p>“He’s just scared… I think.” </p><p>Sirius raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“You think?”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be with me. Either way, I don’t want to talk about it so if you could please just distract me somehow I would very much appreciate it,” Harry told them, determinedly poking at his salad. The concerned glances were still glued to him, but Sirius went on to talk about a project he’s been working on, and Lily gushed about having a nice chat with Celestina Warbeck the day before, and all in all it turned into a pleasant evening. Harry didn’t even think about Draco that much. Almost. </p><p> </p><p>He even bumped into Harry Styles on his way back to his room, which was way less pleasant than it sounded, given that Harry literally bumped into the man as they collided by the elevators because Harry hadn’t been paying any attention to his surroundings. So naturally, Harry blushed and the other Harry gave him a smile that made him a bit weak in the knees.</p><p>“You alright there, love?” Harry Styles asked. Harry sighed and shook his head, but managed a small, self-deprecating smile. </p><p>“Probably not, sorry.” </p><p>Harry Styles nodded. “You don’t really look it, either. Look… it’s really none of my business and I don’t mean to pry, but I know a thing or two about a broken heart and about being the center of everyone’s speculation, so if you ever want to talk… I’d be happy to be a friend.” </p><p>Harry almost started crying in the middle of the hallway, but he just so managed to keep himself from falling apart and sobbing onto Harry Styles’ shoulder. He did end up with his phone number, though, and that was something. </p><p> </p><p>When Harry got back to his room at a fairly reasonable time and with a pleasant buzz from the wine he’d had with his dinner, there were a few messages waiting for him on his phone. Several were from Hermione, his best friend, who apparently had just regained reception after going offline for a few days to take care of her mental health. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hermione: I GO OFFLINE FOR A FEW DAYS AND SUDDENLY DRARRY IS REAL AGAIN AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS??  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hermione: WTF IS GOING ON HARRY POTTER </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hermione: Seriously, those are the juiciest pictures anyone’s ever got of you and it’s with Draco.  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> Hermione: And he was just spotted at the airport alone. Are you okay?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sighing, Harry flopped down onto the bed and opened the app to type his reply. One small word in particular had caught his attention.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: Again?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hermione must have been waiting for him to reply, because the three little dots indicating that she was typing appeared right away.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hermione: You underestimate me, Harry Potter. I have known you since you were 11 years old. I can see right through you. Don’t be so thick.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Hermione: The way you were moping around when he left, the looks, the way you talked about him, the cold radio silence for the last 3 years while he made amends with the other boys... </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Hermione: It was so obvious.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Hermione knew him entirely too well, Harry thought.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: fair enough  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry felt the sadness and the heartache creeping back in now that he was alone, so for once he was grateful for Hermione’s perception when it came to him, the way she could just see right through him, always. It meant he wasn’t entirely alone this time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: i’m not quite okay, mione </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: he left a note and we texted earlier but he still *left*  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: left me, again  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hermione: Oh, love. I’m so sorry. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Hermione: Do you want to come to mine for a little while? I can make you all the unhealthy food you like so much and watch all the terrible rom coms with you.   </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry smiled at the thought. It sounded like heaven, really. Exactly what he needed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: i would love that </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: i can probably catch a flight back to london tomorrow  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hermione: Perfect. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Hermione: We’ll talk tomorrow because I have a lot of questions but for now, get some rest and maybe don’t look at Twitter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Hermione: It’s gonna be fine. We’ll sort this out.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Feeling a lot calmer already, Harry went on to the next messages that had been waiting for him and the carefully untangled knot in his stomach reappeared as if it had never left. Draco. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: I feel awful, Harry  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco: i miss you  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco: which is a fucking shit thing of me to say, i realize that. I do, though. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Draco: I can’t be with you but i can’t be without you either  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: this is so unfair, draco </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: what am i supposed to say to that?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Harry bit his lip as he was watching the three dots indicating that Draco was typing rather intently. He was probably a bit of a masochist, really. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: i don’t know  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Of course he didn’t. That was the problem they had, wasn’t it? Draco not knowing what he wanted, what he was willing to allow himself to have. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: you have to figure out what you want, Draco  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: i want YOU, in case that wasn’t clear. and i’m waiting for you if there is any possibility you’ll have me  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Harry: properly this time, no lies and no hiding. i really think we could make this work and it could be damn fucking great </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Draco: you deserve better than me, potter </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry: i don’t want better, i just want you  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Draco stopped replying then. Harry didn’t exactly expect anything else.</p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Harry took an early flight to London the next morning. There were paparazzi following him from the hotel to the airport, and Harry could already see the headlines. What was he doing flying out alone just a day after Draco was spotted alone at the airport? Was it a ruse to trick them? Did they have another falling out? Was it just a meaningless affair to begin with? He didn’t really care what they thought but he knew Draco did, deep down under his cool exterior, even if he claimed otherwise. It wasn’t over yet; it never was with them. </p><p> </p><p>Hermione welcomed him with a big hug, a blanket, and a nice cup of tea in her cosy London flat. Ron was there, too, like he usually was, clapping him on the shoulder in a wordless gesture of comfort. The three of them had been friends since 5th grade, and inseparable even when Harry had taken off to become an international pop star. Ron was now playing guitar in Harry’s solo band, and frankly, it was all they had ever dreamed of. </p><p>“Where did that posh bastard go, I’d have a right mind to punch him in the face!”  his friend grumbled. Hermione glared at him. </p><p>“I don’t think threats against Draco are what Harry needs right now,” she scolded. She’d placed Harry on the couch with his blanket and his cup of tea, and was now darting around the kitchen, preparing dinner. </p><p>“Please don’t punch him, Ron. I appreciate the gesture, but this is between me and him.” </p><p> </p><p><em> I’m back in London. At Hermione’s. In case you want to make this right, </em>he texted Draco, not expecting a reply. His heart still did a ridiculous little leap when his phone vibrated in his hands. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I need some time. No promises.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Well, at least it wasn’t a straight up ‘No.’ anymore, Harry thought, taking a deep breath as he leaned back on Hermione’s couch and sipped his tea, trying so hard not to shatter all over again, like he had once before. His friends knew, of course, having helped to put him back together last time, as well. So they did what they could to keep him sane and distracted: Movies, trips to various museums around the city, long walks in the park, board games, and loads of comfort food. Harry and Ron also finished the song Harry had written on a whim after Draco had left him behind in Sicily. </p><p>Harry met up with Cedric in their favourite café one rainy Wednesday afternoon, just like they had planned. It was a bit awkward at first, but eventually they talked it out. </p><p>“So, why aren’t you together, then?” Ced asked towards the end of their little coffee date. </p><p>Harry sighed. </p><p>“It’s complicated. I want to, but Draco… he’s not ready. See, this thing we have has never been easy, not for a second. And I guess… I guess it’s just scary. To love someone that much when there is no guarantee that it will last this time. <em> Especially </em> when the whole world is watching.” </p><p>Cedric nodded, then shook his head and directed an incredulous smile at Harry. </p><p>“I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around it. You and Draco. All these years. Remember how you couldn’t stand each other at first?”</p><p>Harry shrugged, but returned the smile. Cedric was right, of course. At 16, they’d hated each other’s guts. So much so that they’d fought and argued and squabbled almost every day during Defense Against Bad Music, until one day, just after they had released their first album, a fight held in private had ended with them pressed against a wall, making out. And then, they had just never stopped. Instead, they had fallen in love. </p><p>Harry and Cedric had a long hug before they went their separate ways again, promising to stay in touch this time. And Harry planned on keeping his promise, just like he had irregular texting with Neville and Dean going on. It seemed that Harry and Draco’s big scandal had somehow brought them all back together in the end. And wasn’t that ironic, considering. </p><p> </p><p>Harry tried to avoid alcohol and weed while he was staying at Hermione’s, knowing both wouldn’t do him any good as a coping mechanism. By the end of the month, Harry was feeling okay. Not good, particularly, but okay. Like he was going to be okay; which was a point he’d taken well over a year to get to the first time. Maybe heartbreak actually did get easier to cope with as he gained experience with it. He jumped right into work, back into songwriting and putting together his next album, keeping his heart together with all his might. </p><p> </p><p>Harry supposed his being somewhat okay was the only reason he didn’t suffer a heart attack to the shattered thing in his chest when he found Draco in front of Hermione’s door one day in September, about two months after he’d last seen him in Sicily. His hair was mostly silvery blond again, and a little bit longer than before, but all the more a complete mess. His eyes were red-rimmed, and there were tear tracks on his cheeks. It was enough to send the pieces of Harry’s broken heart flying across his chest, his throat feeling tight. </p><p>“Draco, what— what happened?” </p><p>There was a sob escaping the other man’s mouth in response, and then he wrapped his arms around Harry in a bone crushing hug. Harry needed a moment to gather his wits, before hugging him back, holding him close as he started crying onto his shoulder, his own shaking with each of his sobs. </p><p>“Dray, come on,” Harry said after a long moment of just holding Draco where he stood, “Let’s go inside, and you can tell me what’s wrong.” </p><p>Draco pulled back and nodded, looking so very small again, it broke Harry’s heart all over again. He was never supposed to look so small and defeated. </p><p>Thankfully, Ron and Hermione weren’t home, so Harry could place Draco on the couch with a cup of tea and the same comfort blanket Hermione had wrapped him in when he’d returned from Sicily. </p><p>“I had a fight with my father,” Draco said quietly, rubbing at his eyes. “Nothing new, really, you know as well as I that he never approved of my life, my choices, of my looks, my tattoos, or my music. Only now he also has my sexuality to be disappointed about. Which was to be expected but… let’s just say he was extra cruel this time.” </p><p>Harry swallowed hard. He had known, of course, that Draco’s father was a rich, bigoted douchebag, but he’d hoped he would receive the news of his son’s sexuality with at least a little more respect and dignity. It was 2020 now, after all, and even some conservatives were slowly coming to their senses. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Draco,” Harry said, reaching over to squeeze his hand. Draco squeezed back, hesitantly looking up to meet Harry’s eyes. </p><p>“I didn’t know where else to go,” he admitted, voice still quiet, like Draco was missing a significant part of his usual life force. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come. But I missed you, Harry, I really did.” </p><p>Harry sighed. Draco’s presence was a threat to his fragile broken heart, but at the same time he loved him too much to send him away, especially seeing how upset he was. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Harry told him, letting go of his hand and averting his eyes. He ran a hand through his messy hair and rubbed it over the lightning shaped scar on his forehead. </p><p>“I’m not ready to talk. If you want me to go, I will, but I’m just… not ready.” Draco’s voice nearly broke at the end. Harry would lie if he said it didn’t hurt him to hear that; that he desperately wished for Draco to be ready, for them to be okay again, that all he wanted was a proper chance for them, a real relationship. </p><p>He took a deep breath and scooted back on the couch, stretching his legs out and holding up his right arm as an invitation for Draco to join him. Draco gave him a smile, a thankful little thing, and scooted over to wrap himself around Harry’s torso, snuggling into his side. </p><p>“Let’s just watch something,” Harry said. Any time either of them had been upset about something during their time in the band but didn’t want to talk about it, they had just snuggled up and watched a movie or a show together, drawing comfort from their closeness as they got lost in a different universe for a little while. </p><p>“I’ve been rewatching <em> Doctor Who </em>lately. You okay with that?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Draco agreed quietly, “Put it on.” </p><p> </p><p>Harry had no idea when he had fallen asleep, but he was woken by the sound of the door being opened, and Ron and Hermione’s loud voices reaching his eardrums as they returned home. He blinked his eyes open, disoriented as he realised he must’ve been asleep for at least a couple of hours, judging by the time and how far along the show had played. Draco was still snuggled to his side, one arm tightly wrapped around his waist as he was softly snoring into the side of Harry’s neck, still fast asleep and unaware of Ron and Hermione entering the flat. </p><p>“Harry, mate, we brought pizza,” Ron announced as he rounded the corner into the living room, Hermione on his heels. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed Draco, eyes wide as he met Harry’s, the surprise so very clear in them. </p><p>“Ron!” Hermione complained as she collided with Ron’s back, frowning as she stepped around her boyfriend. “Oh.” </p><p>Their noise was enough to make Draco stir this time, slowly blinking his eyes open, looking as disoriented as Harry had felt about a minute ago. He blushed a light shade of pink when he noticed Ron and Hermione in the doorway and quickly sat up, eyes wide. </p><p>“Well, good thing we brought a spare pizza for Ron’s midnight snack. No midnight pizza for you today, my love,” Hermione said cheerily, smiling at Draco as she finally entered the room and put the pizza down on the coffee table. “Hello, Draco. It’s been a while, it’s good to see you again. I love the tattoos.” She gestured to Draco’s neck, and Draco’s hand instinctively came up to touch them. </p><p>“Oh. Well, thank you. It’s good to see you too, Hermione.” </p><p>“What’s up, mate?” Ron said as he joined them, eyeing Draco rather suspiciously, despite his casual tone. Draco gave him a nod. </p><p>“Ron.” </p><p>Ron and Hermione sat down on the sofa with them, and somehow they ended up eating their pizza and watching <em> The Great British Bake Off </em> together while they were commenting on the candidates and having a laugh. To Harry’s surprise, that included Draco. Just like he had before everything had fallen apart between them, he got along splendidly with Harry’s friends, and he joked and laughed and looked so genuinely delighted that it warmed Harry’s heart. There was no trace left of the tears and the pain Harry had found him in that afternoon. </p><p>And when Draco left for the night, Harry hugged him tightly, whispering “See you?” into his ear and squeezing his hand as he met his eyes. </p><p>“You will,” Draco said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, “Thank you. For today.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek. </p><p>“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Harry said, “I’m always there for you. You know that, right?” </p><p>Draco nodded. “I do. Good night, Harry.”</p><p>“Good night, Draco.” </p><p> </p><p>+++</p><p> </p><p>Draco returned the next day with donuts and coffee, and they watched a documentary about Shakespeare together, reciting sonnets at each other by the time Ron and Hermione returned from their shopping trip. Predictably, Ron awas like a child when he spotted the donuts, and Hermione merely rolled her eyes a little more fondly that she would probably admit. </p><p>The day after, Draco brought Monopoly, and all four of them ended up playing for hours on end, arguing over hotels and debt and laughing until their tummies ached. It was a good time, and all the while, Harry just felt himself falling impossibly deeper in love with Draco. It had been a long time since they had just been friends like this. Maybe they never really had been before. </p><p>On the weekend, Draco brought his Switch and Zelda, and they played together until Harry's thumbs ached. They opened a bottle of wine with Ron and Hermione on Saturday night, and it hit Harry with a sudden, unprecedented force that this was what he wanted for the rest of his life. He wanted Draco, and he wanted them to have game nights with his friends and get tipsy on expensive wine. So that’s what Harry told him when they said their goodbyes that night. </p><p>“I want that, too, Harry,” Draco admitted, “I just need a little more time.” </p><p>He pressed a kiss to the corner of Harry’s mouth, and then he took off for the night, leaving Harry aching and longing. </p><p>Flopping down onto the couch, he sighed dramatically. “I love him,” he announced. </p><p>Ron and Hermione barely even looked up from their respective phones. </p><p>“We know,” they said in unison, and Harry hated them a little bit. </p><p> </p><p>For the next three weeks, Harry saw Draco almost every day. Some days they played games together, others they went out to the movies or to get drinks, others they wrote music together or just jammed with their guitars. They were friends, first and foremost, and Harry enjoyed every second of it. One Tuesday afternoon they even went to the studio together to record, and Harry showed him the song he had written in Sicily and finished with Ron’s help upon returning to London. </p><p>“It’s beautiful, Harry,” Draco told him, the tears in his eyes betraying his casual tone. </p><p>“I want you on it. I want us to sing it together,” Harry said. Draco was hesitant, but Harry insisted, and so they ended up singing the song Harry had written about their heartbreak at each other in a small recording booth, both of them pouring their hearts and all their unsaid words into it. </p><p>“This is going to be a hit,” Ron announced when they were done for the day, “I can feel it. Your voices go so well together. Plus, it’s a really good song. PLUS, people are still obsessed with your drama, so there’s that.” </p><p> </p><p>Harry and Draco were both quiet on the ride back to Draco’s flat. Draco was going to cook them dinner, and Hermione had thrown Harry out of her flat for the night to have a date night of her own with Ron. Harry didn’t really mind. He knew he had long overstayed his welcome, but neither of his friends would ever tell him so. And Harry loved them for it. </p><p>The silence stretched on even when they were standing in Draco’s kitchen, each sipping on a glass of wine and eyeing each other nervously. There had been something in the air between them ever since they had left the recording booth, and the way Harry saw it, there were only two ways their night could end: with them fighting again, or with them making out. And he hoped with all his might for the latter. </p><p>“Fuck!” Draco cursed and slammed the knife he’d been using to cut up some veggies onto the kitchen counter. “I can’t do this.” </p><p>Harry tried to swallow the sense of dread in his chest, tried to breathe calmly as his throat felt tight. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>Draco ran a hand through his hair and started pacing nervously around the kitchen. </p><p>“I have to… Fucking hell. Okay,” he said more to himself than to Harry, “Potter. There is no point in reiterating all the shit we’ve been through. But I just… I realised that one thing never changes, and never will change, no matter how hard I try or how far I run.” Draco met Harry’s eyes, and Harry knew. This was it. They had made it. This was going to be the start of their forever. “I love you. You know I do. And I want to be with you. I’m sick of running. Let’s do this properly.” </p><p>Harry felt something flutter just beneath his ribcage, and he didn’t hesitate even a second to cross the room and pull Draco into his arms. </p><p>“No running this time?” he asked, just to be sure. </p><p>“No running this time. Promise,” Draco confirmed. </p><p>Harry smiled. “I love you, too. Fucking finally.” </p><p>And then Harry kissed him, and it was the best kiss they’d ever had, because it meant everything. The world could screw them, because it didn’t matter what they thought, or that they’d seen them. What they had was just between the two of them, and it always had been. </p><p>“Take me to bed, you wanker,” Harry demanded between kisses. Draco grinned against his lips. </p><p>“Nothing I would rather do, darling.” </p><p>Harry poked him in the side. </p><p>“Then I suggest you get on with it.” </p><p>“Oi! Someone is needy, I see. Keep it in your pants until we reach the bedroom, Potter.” Draco chuckled, and Harry yelped when he was quite literally swept off his feet and carried to Draco’s bedroom. </p><p>And the rest, so they said, was history. </p><p> </p><p>+++ </p><p> </p><p><b>Wedding Bells for Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy?</b> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> 5 years ago, our favourite celebrity couple, former Diagon Alley members Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy made the headlines when they were caught kissing in a hotel pool in Sicily, Italy. Ever since their involuntary outing, the pair have been inseparable, and even the most heartbroken fan had to accept that these two are just perfect together.  </em>
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  <em> Last year, Harry announced in an interview with GQ magazine, that he and Draco were thinking about having a child together. Now, the exclusive news of a potential wedding has surfaced, leaving us all excited about our two favourite heartthrobs finally tying the knot.  </em>
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  <em> “They’re totally in love, and they have been for over 10 years now. I’m sure that’s enough of an answer,” ex-bandmate Cedric Diggory told us in an exclusive interview.  </em>
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  <em> While the couple is very private, Harry has recently liked a few wedding inspiration posts on Instagram, further fueling the speculations.  </em>
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  <em> What do you think? Are we going to hear wedding bells for our love birds soon? Vote below.  </em>
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